So, after 5 weeks of crap with the state of California, insurance, etc. last weekend, my brother took my dad home, since Medicare would no longer pay for the rehab he was in. He, of course, can't really be rehabbed, but we never got any final paperwork on his state benefits, although he was approved. Of course, he can't be at home. My brother took another 10 days off and was besides himself. He's a wreck to begin with, and then he gets pissed at people; not a good way to get what you want. So, fortunately, my older son went out there Saturday, first flew in to see my other son, and they drove down to San Diego and came upon the ugly mess (I had just found out). My younger son was a wreck about Grandpa's condition, so the next day, Monday, they took him to the VA hospital (where he had been receiving excellent primary care before all of this started) and he is now appropriately placed in the VA palliative care wing. My older son said my younger son was amazing (he gets his care at the VA) and my brother said that they are being treated so well, that he wishes he had been in the military.
My dad seems to be hanging in there, and hopefully will still be with it enough when we go out there in about a month.
Really, really proud of my kids.