So sorry Pax. You have definitely been on an emotional rollercoaster lately, both the highs and the lows. I'm happy for you in that you have your dear, new wife to help and support you through this very difficult time. But your loss is great, and you will need to take your time to grieve. It took me a long, long time to feel normal after losing my dad. I am so dreading going through it again when my mom passes one day.