Fear & age?

[marni]

Oh my. I'm going thru the same sort of thing right now. When I go out for a ride I worry about the cars on the road much more than I used to, or I worry that I'll be in a dumb solo crash. When Lee goes out for a ride I wonder if I'll get one of those dreaded phone calls. Even when we're out driving, I wonder what might happen. It's not really in the forefront of my mind, but it's definitely there.

I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that up until a couple of months ago our day-to-day existence revolved around my elderly FIL who was in & out & in & out of hospitals and nursing homes, so I was constantly reminded of what life could become.

I'm hoping that, now that my FIL has passed away and we no longer have to be prepped for when the next call comes, I'll get away from this mindset.

(ed to add: I'm 54)

part of this fear may also be a result of depression following the death of your FIL. Any death will take time to adjust to emotionally. When our live in Fil died two years ago, I went into a severe depression since I had been his primary care giver for three years.
any death diminishes us a bit and it takes as much time as it takes to start to feel a bit better about things.

I tend to think that as we get older we have become aware of more possibilities about any situation both good and bad. Being human we tend to emphasize the bad and lip slide the good. As I like to tell people when I daringly let or make myself do something that is uncomfortable, "I'm in here for insanity, not stupidity", and have figured the risk is worth the challenge.

Hang in there and try not let either depression or fear take control. You could die tomorrow or live to a ripe old age. You can't control the timing.

[Veronica]

Hang in there and try not let either depression or fear take control. You could die tomorrow or live to a ripe old age. You can't control the timing.

Ain't that the truth. That's why I have a LiFE list not a bucket list - Life to the Fullest Extent. It's not catchy like a movie though.

Veronica

[SheFly]

Ain't that the truth. That's why I have a LiFE list not a bucket list - Life to the Fullest Extent. It's not catchy like a movie though.

Veronica

Here, here! DH's blog title: Like It's Your Last - Battling time by living every minute as if it were the last, accompanied by my wife, kittens and our fleet of bikes.

SheFly

[Veronica]

I didn't know he had a blog. What a great title! Now I have something to read over breakfast.


Veronica

[Catrin]

I think this is what I've been battling with riding on the road. The neck/mtb injury took me off the mountain bike, and it hurts enough to ride longer than short rides that I start thinking more about other things that could happen while riding the road. A cyclist collided with my car in October, and THAT put an image in my head that I've not yet been able to get out so I've not been able to ride at all since that happened. We have a very bad intersection with a MUT and a side street - you literally cannot see if anyone is on the trail coming from one direction (bike or ped) until your car is completely blocking the intersection. VERY bad design, thankfully she wasn't seriously injured even though she didn't have a helmet on, but it has really affected my ability to ride. They still haven't changed that intersection....sigh.

[lph]

I think the important thing about fear is to realize that how much fear you feel is not in proportion to the risk you're running. They're vaguely connected, but there are a host of psychological mechanisms that can make us feel more (or less) fearful than the situation warrants.

I tend to be more fearful skiing than cycling, even though the speeds are similar and the consequences of crashing while skiing are usually much less serious. And I'm skilled enough, I just don't have the daily practice that deadens fear. And yes, I have grown more fearful with age, but at the same time I understand myself more and am capable of doing things to win over fear. When younger I'd be more likely to either back out or just force myself to do something I was afraid of, blindly, and without really mastering it.

[shootingstar]

I think the important thing about fear is to realize that how much fear you feel is not in proportion to the risk you're running. They're vaguely connected, but there are a host of psychological mechanisms that can make us feel more (or less) fearful than the situation warrants.

This is helpful to keep things in perspective.

To repeat reminders to ourselves as we continue to cycle/bike onward into the years: as women cyclists in North America, we're still the minority, especially over 35 ...or even in general.

I've cycled regularily since returning to cycling 23 years ago. Some of my regular cycling routes within whatever city I've lived in, consists (deliberately) of routes where a large chunk of it is marked/dedicated cycling infrastructure (ie. 70% of the route). So whenever I talk about cycling a 60-100 km. bike ride within my city, inevitably it does includes a lengthy distance of interconnected bike routes and cycling infrastructure. I do believe that has reduced my exposure somewhat.

I also tend to plan my rides wherever I can, to reduce exposure to high speed car traffic routes, high volumes of cyclists during peak travel hrs. at certain times of the year.

I know that people here don't like MUPs....it works for me..because I start off cycle-commuting to work, early in the morning when cyclists are less, and I finish work earlier than the peak volumes (which also coincides with less car traffic when I have to cycle on streets).

For weekend riding, I also tend to engineer rides in that way..though it's a whole lot easier to plan cycling with less car traffic.

As for fear, I find it just far easier, even enjoyable snowshoeing on a narrow mountain path, compared to hiking the same path in summer without snow. It's the illusion of snow cushioning a fall (and me wearing clothing layers to protect skin scrapes), etc.

[Crankin]

I feel the same way hiking vs. snow shoeing, ShootingStar.