Dear Cat

[marni]

Dear Cats

I spent nearly 30 minutes cleaning the glass insert on our coffee table that sits in front of the couch. Couldn't you have let me enjoy the sparkling clean surface for at least a couple of hours before you walked al over it and left your paw prints???

Try a layer of Saran Wrap over the glass for a couple of days. Cats don't like how it feels on their feet! Aversion training works. This is also good for scratching on furniture, or at least it did for me.

[kajero]

Dear Cat,

Winter must be upon us. It's the only thing that explains all the trouble you are causing me lately. It must be getting boring to look out the windows and the sun doesn't shine on your cat tree this time of year.

I am desperately trying to construct and sew a very well fitting pair of pants. I put the pattern pieces on the floor as I took them off so I could use the craft table to lay the material to make sure I pinned the fabric pieces together correctly for sewing. I have already nearly destroyed the pattern with all the alterations I have made. I know I should have traced the pattern first, I kind of did, but it wasn't as accurate as I wanted it to be. So the tissue is on the floor and you have to get it into it and play in it and make an even worse mess of it. I will probably have to salvage it because I need that pattern for a class I am taking. I am hunting all over the Internet to buy it again. I think I may have found it, but it is going to cost you $14 in cat treats.


PS: Dear Cat. I have added little pictures to this story in case you look read it. I want you to understand the problem as well as possible.

[skhill]

Dear Cats,

Tonight is the time change, when the clocks are set back an hour. So I'm warning you now that your tummies will be telling you it's time for breakfast an hour before I have any intention of serving it. If the first digit on the clock is a 3 when you guys start asking I get up, I will not be happy at all.

I promise you'll have a late night snack just before I go to bed, and I'll make sure the dry food bowl is full. Just let me sleep, OK?

Love, the can opener

PS Do you have a reset switch hidden away somewhere under all that fur?

[lph]

Dear Lyra,

thank you for helping us decorate the house for Halloween, your favourite holiday I imagine. It was a lovely fat rat.

Usually, though, we put the decorations out where people can see them, instead of hiding them under the couch. On the other hand, since DS was having all his classmates over for a party and most of them are teenage girls from nice homes, your way was just fine.

[skhill]

Dear Cats,

That was definitely a 3 on the clock when you started reminding me that breakfast time was approaching-- 3:18, to be exact. Well, at least I wasn't late to my 7:30 choir call at church. And you let me sleep until nearly 5 today, so we're cool.

Yes, the new piece of cat furniture is second-hand and smells like other cats. Please don't spray it to claim it as your own. Just use your claws.

Thanks

[SheFly]

Dear Cat,

Did you really have to jump in my lap to puke this morning?

SheFly

[pll]

My apologies if this has been posted here already, but I was laughing about this video, "sad cat diary":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk