Dear So and So

[skhill]

Dear neighbor,

There's never a good reason for using a weed whacker at 4:20 AM. Really. So you wanted to clean up the yard before setting up for the yard sale, should have done it last night, before 8pm.

[malkin]

Dear immune system:

Stop over reacting; it is just pollen.
Snot I understand, and can deal with; muscle aches, joint pain and fever are not useful.

[Owlie]

Dear university:
I am pretty sure you are screwing me over. I don't have proof, but the numbers don't add up. Argh.

[skhill]

Dear guys who had a gunfight on my block yesterday,

A. this is Kentucky, we haven't been the western frontier in about 200 years. So knock it off!

B. before you try this again, please spend some time at a shooting range, actually learning to shoot. More than 20 rounds and only one hit what it was aimed at, apparently. Y'all are lucky stray rounds hit houses and cars and garbage cans and not the kids coming home from school.

Of course, when the cops catch the 2 of you who aren't in the hospital, you won't be shooting anything for quite a while.

[indysteel]

Oh my gosh, skhill? What the _____? I have come to expect that kind of thing in Indy, but not where you live! That's nuts! What a miracle that no innocent bystanders were hurt.

[OakLeaf]

Oh, man, skhill.

[Pax]

Dear Indy,

Happy Birthday!

Pax

[Sky King]

Dear Mom,
Please take note. After this weekend it really is time for you to come get Dad and take him off to go dancing in the sky. The entire family, kids, grandkids, great grandkids will be here to celebrate Dad's 88th birthday. As everyone will have a chance to visit and wish him well perhaps your spirit can take that into consideration? His "quality of life" on this planet is pretty low and me thinks he would much rather be with you dancing and enjoying whatever else you are up to. Love Your Daughter who has really, really filled your request to take care of him.

[indysteel]

((((Sky King)))). That's one of the most touching things I've ever read in this thread. Peace to you and your family.

[Blueberry]

(((((Sky King))))) + 1 to Indy's comment. That brought tears to my eyes.