Dear Cat

[kajero]

Dear Ransom,

When you were given to me as a newborn I wanted a cuddly cat. But now at 9 years old you are too cuddly. Everytime I sit down you have to be on my lap. If you are not on my lap you are laying up against me so I can't hardly move. When I go to bed you have to get in get right into my face before you lay down. And when I brush you away, you whine and and whine. When I am sitting at my computer room desk, you put your front paws on my thigh, whine, and won't leave until I pick you up and hold you. It is very had to work with a cat on your lap.

If I shut doors to keep you out you scratch and whine until I open it. It is very distracting.

Despite all this I still love you. I guess you must be making up for the other cat who barely lets us near him!

[lph]

Dear Cat,

I don't have the nerves for this. But I'm onto you now.

We don't have a cat flap yet, so Lyra's usual routine goes like this. Sleep all day, hang out with us in the afternoon, get fed in the evening, go out for the night. In the early morning she'll jump in our bedroom window, get let into the rest of the house, take a nap, and wake us up to get breakfast if we're not up by five minutes past the usual time. She will occasionally miss coming back for breakfast, but we will then be met after work by an indignant cat pawing at the garden door wondering why the h*** she's hungry and outside.

So when she hadn't turned up by breakfast time yesterday I wasn't too worried. It was a cold and wet day so we figured she was napping somewhere dry. But when she still hadn't turned up by the afternoon, and dh had been home all day without seeing her we started getting worried. We started calling and searching for her, going much further than I have ever seen her go, somewhat hampered by the fact that we live next door to a large absolutely no-entry army camp. The completely overgrown swathe of land just outside our garden and just inside their fence is her favourite hunting ground. The guard at the gate was polite and amused when a distraught woman with straggly hair turned up in the evening looking for her cat but was not about to let me inside.

I was mostly worried about a fox getting her. We live right up against the woods, hardly any traffic, but she's territorial and would quite probably try to defend her space against a fox, or even a badger. And she has come home wide-eyed and very jumpy before, as though she'd been in a showdown with some animal.

By nightfall I was a total mess, and dreading having to tell my son that Lyra was gone. Left a window open and slept fitfully, starting at the smallest noise in the house. After getting up to check the first two sounds and finding nothing I decided not to get up any more as it was just too disappointing. Besides, I expected that if she did come in it would be with loud demands for food and company.

Got up this morning with a very heavy heart, hoping against hope that she would meet me in the hall as usual, but no.

But a few minutes later a calm and nonchalant cat comes wandering down the hall from my son's bedroom where she has been quietly sleeping as if nothing had happened and the past day never existed.

Why do they DO this to us??

[nuliajuk]

Dear cat
When we visited with the nice lady down the street whose dog you get on well with, we weren't expecting her neighbour to have her three cats all outside. Good thing you were on the leash because the language you were using suggested you wanted to take on all three. Bad idea. You don't have a full set of teeth and every one of them is bigger than you. So stop trying to drag us back down there EVERY time we take you out. Get over it!!!

[Blueberry]

Dear Cat:

You 2 brothers can behave - why can't you? Dragging off my husband's favorite sweater and trying to eat it is not endearing you to him (and you're officially his cat!). What is it with wool - not yarn - anything wool! You can't stop eating it.

Confused,

Your mom

[VeganBikeChick]

Dear Laverne,

I'm so sorry I stepped on your tail this morning while you were underfoot. I'm glad I had your immediate forgiveness by you rubbing up against me immediately - wish people were like you!

[aponi]

I'm so glad you got to sleep in this morning when I got up at 5:30 to go for a run. You're right, there's no sense in all of us having to be out in the heat and humidity.

[skhill]

Dear Joe,

Maybe you should take a hint from how the dog snaps at you whenever you mess with her chew toys, and just not do it. Remember, she is 4 times your size!