Thread Drift

[Crankin]

This is why I stopped being social friends with colleagues. Too much...
I don't think you're overreacting. This is a huge change and you will feel conflicted and sad.

[OakLeaf]

Congrats, lph.

You nailed it, you understand why you're sad. I think that's completely natural. I'm not surprised the sad feelings are overwhelming the happy ones right now, but you know that won't last. Be proud of yourself.

[emily_in_nc]

I totally understand. When I retired from my job in Aug. 2011, I had worked with some of my co-workers for over 20 years. Some were social friends as well as work friends. It was very hard to say goodbye. I have stayed in touch with a few, but not all. When we went back to NC for a visit this past August, we arranged to meet our best work friends for lunch, and it was great to catch up, but it's never quite the same as when people see each other day-in, day-out. You really do become like family, and I have almost always had a "best friend" at work -- someone I was really close to -- as well. These friendships tend to endure.

But nothing says it was easy. Tears were definitely shed. Still, I have never looked back and don't miss the workplace or job at all, just the people. Pretty much exactly what I expected.

[indysteel]

Congrats, lph! You should be proud!!!

I may have to leave my job when my boss retires, so while my departure--if it comes to that--won't be voluntary--I totally get where you're coming from. Change, no matter what prompts it, is incredibly hard. But I tend to think that we're also much more adaptive than we often believe ourselves to be. Just remember that you do will not adapt overnight, so be kind and patient with yourself during that process.

[lph]

Thank you everyone. It's been a tearful evening, but I know it won't last. And I am proud, very proud. But even if the positives outweigh the negatives, the negatives don't go away or become less negative. And my first reaction was obviously to deal with them...
People and personal relationships do matter, a lot.

[indysteel]

Why do I feel such hostility when my alma mater (for both undergrad and law school) calls to ask for money? I loved my undergraduate years and perhaps if I'd just stopped there, I might give, but law school sort of ruined it for me. But beyond that, I'm sort of bitter about being asked to give to a school that does seemingly little to contain its costs. I guess I should, in the very least, consider an undergraduate scholarship fund, but at the end of the day, I get warmer fuzzies from giving elsewhere.

[Pax]

Indy - I got so tired of the way money was wasted by all the big charities I just stopped giving. Now it's all local, right down to the personal level... my sister in law's younger sister has cancer, so I send her money to help out with expenses. A friend from a motorcycling forum has a disabled daughter, I buy up fun stuff and send it along with some money to help out with her expenses. Local animal shelter needs supplies I buy a bunch and haul it over there. Just feels better to skip the "middle man".

[indysteel]

I mostly give to friends for their own charitable endeavors and to small and/or local NFPs. Girls, Inc. is probably the biggest exception to that at the moment, but I have a clear sense of where my money is going and I really like how they interact with their donors, at least locally. The only other one one my radar is a local chapter of a big organization for which I was once a board member. I'm torn about that one because my connection to their mission is a lot more tenuous now, but I'll probably still keep them on my list. I believe in what they do; but some of the frustrations I encountered as a board member have colored my desire to give. I don't know how fair that is because my frustrations had nothing to do with actual programming or how donations were spent.

[Wahine]

Indy - I got so tired of the way money was wasted by all the big charities I just stopped giving. Now it's all local, right down to the personal level... my sister in law's younger sister has cancer, so I send her money to help out with expenses. A friend from a motorcycling forum has a disabled daughter, I buy up fun stuff and send it along with some money to help out with her expenses. Local animal shelter needs supplies I buy a bunch and haul it over there. Just feels better to skip the "middle man".

This is exactly how I feel. I had someone ask me to donate to Run for the Cure. She's using it as motivation to get fit. So I told her I wouldn't donate any money but that I would give her some donated coaching time. It's all about keeping it local and real.

[lph]

I just got an offer. It's for a little less than I already make, and sounds unnegotiable. However they also offer one day working from home a week.
(...)
But if I don't take it I will probably kick myself for years wondering why.

Here's to kicking myself for years *cheers*

I didn't take it. The short reason is that I wasn't willing to give up that much of my free time right now. The long reason is more complicated and probably has more to do with resistance to change than I'm willing to admit... But I spent 4 days thinking it through and talking with many people, and for now this is the best decision I can make. I'm happy with that

[Crankin]

I took my job for the amount of "free time," too. I had the option of working 80% time, working fee for service, and setting my own schedule. I could have worked full time at a salaried job, and I might have shortened the time needed to get my full professional license, but I couldn't do it. Since I had never worked in the summer in my life, I was very worried about my perception of free time and being able to ride, etc. It was the right decision for me, although my Wednesdays are usually not free enough to do my group ride, unless it leaves from near my house and I don't go to the lunch. I can accept that for 6-8 more months... and then I am going to down to a 50-60% time job!!! Where I can, hopefully, commute.

[snapdragen]

Here's to kicking myself for years *cheers*

I didn't take it. The short reason is that I wasn't willing to give up that much of my free time right now. The long reason is more complicated and probably has more to do with resistance to change than I'm willing to admit... But I spent 4 days thinking it through and talking with many people, and for now this is the best decision I can make. I'm happy with that

It sounds like you made the right decision for yourself.

[indysteel]

It sounds like you made the right decision for yourself.

Ditto. It sounds like you put a lot of time and thought into your decision, lph.

[Crankin]

No, no, no... don't get really sick.
I have been dealing with a "full" head, a lot of throat clearing, and some sneezing for about 3 days. I am not really stuffed up and my throat isn't sore, just a lot of draining going on. I felt kind of achy yesterday, and today, once I got out of bed, that's better. Tummy is a bit off, but not enough to make me stop eating!
I've been super aggressive with hand washing and being outside a lot, as I firmly believe that the cold air helps keep you well. So yesterday was a rest day, and today I have the chance to go on a local hike with my cycling group. I have nothing else planned for the morning, but I am hesitating. We have a big storm coming Friday night, which means x country skiing this weekend and then on the 14th, I am going to VT. for 4 days.
I could go to the gym, but that would actually be more intense than the hike. Or, I could rest another day.

[emily_in_nc]

Or, I could rest another day.

I vote for resting -- sounds like your body is fighting a low-grade infection. Or, if you're feeling up to it, you might want to do a light-moderate workout. Good info on exercise intensity and the immune system:

http://www.empoweredathlete.com/arti...ll=true&art=67

Feel better soon!