Thread Drift

[Crankin]

This is why I stopped being social friends with colleagues. Too much...
I don't think you're overreacting. This is a huge change and you will feel conflicted and sad.

[OakLeaf]

Congrats, lph.

You nailed it, you understand why you're sad. I think that's completely natural. I'm not surprised the sad feelings are overwhelming the happy ones right now, but you know that won't last. Be proud of yourself.

[emily_in_nc]

I totally understand. When I retired from my job in Aug. 2011, I had worked with some of my co-workers for over 20 years. Some were social friends as well as work friends. It was very hard to say goodbye. I have stayed in touch with a few, but not all. When we went back to NC for a visit this past August, we arranged to meet our best work friends for lunch, and it was great to catch up, but it's never quite the same as when people see each other day-in, day-out. You really do become like family, and I have almost always had a "best friend" at work -- someone I was really close to -- as well. These friendships tend to endure.

But nothing says it was easy. Tears were definitely shed. Still, I have never looked back and don't miss the workplace or job at all, just the people. Pretty much exactly what I expected.

[indysteel]

Congrats, lph! You should be proud!!!

I may have to leave my job when my boss retires, so while my departure--if it comes to that--won't be voluntary--I totally get where you're coming from. Change, no matter what prompts it, is incredibly hard. But I tend to think that we're also much more adaptive than we often believe ourselves to be. Just remember that you do will not adapt overnight, so be kind and patient with yourself during that process.

[lph]

Thank you everyone. It's been a tearful evening, but I know it won't last. And I am proud, very proud. But even if the positives outweigh the negatives, the negatives don't go away or become less negative. And my first reaction was obviously to deal with them...
People and personal relationships do matter, a lot.

[indysteel]

Why do I feel such hostility when my alma mater (for both undergrad and law school) calls to ask for money? I loved my undergraduate years and perhaps if I'd just stopped there, I might give, but law school sort of ruined it for me. But beyond that, I'm sort of bitter about being asked to give to a school that does seemingly little to contain its costs. I guess I should, in the very least, consider an undergraduate scholarship fund, but at the end of the day, I get warmer fuzzies from giving elsewhere.

[Pax]

Indy - I got so tired of the way money was wasted by all the big charities I just stopped giving. Now it's all local, right down to the personal level... my sister in law's younger sister has cancer, so I send her money to help out with expenses. A friend from a motorcycling forum has a disabled daughter, I buy up fun stuff and send it along with some money to help out with her expenses. Local animal shelter needs supplies I buy a bunch and haul it over there. Just feels better to skip the "middle man".