Dysthmia - moderate depression

[Irulan]

(continuation after reading OP again)

I don't know if its worthwhile to discuss "feeling better" vs "happy". For me, happy has to do with finding joy and contentment with my life, and really being in the moment. I still have plenty of days when I'm anxious, really sad, pissed off about something, or other strong emotions, which i believe is as it should be - that's real life. With untreated depression, these and other strong, "negative" emotions can really take over and be crippling. With treatment, whether its meds or other tools, you can handle them in a healthy manner, as a part of the life experience. Anyone that is expecting life's downs to go away with treatment of depression is fooling themselves; it's how the downs are handled that changes.

Before my dysthymia was treated, I felt like I functioned veiled with a shadow. It's hard to describe exactly, but that's the best I can come up with. Tasks went uncompleted, I lacked focus, and had a lot of anxiety and fear. Counseling, 12 step work, and medication changed my life for the better. For me, happy is a feeling of general contentment in my life and day to day choices, not an "up" or "high" feeling, at least not all the time. I do have long moements now where I feel so good that it takes my breath away and fills me with gratitude, but I don't expect to have that all the time. Having a really solid marriage ( we've done a ton of work) has helped immensely....I don't know where I'd be without that.