Jeez, Blueberry. That sounds awful. I sure know what I would do. It includes the words "with regrets, we will not be able to attend." I think drawing a line to protect oneself from verbal and physical abuse is acceptable. If BIL takes issue with that, then oh well. He made his choice as to whom to invite. Life is seriously too short for that kind of toxicity.

I have recommended this book many times, but it bears repeating: The Dance of Anger. It can really help people who are afraid to draw appropriate boundaries.