Giving Christmas/holiday gifts: do you?

[OakLeaf]

many of the families I work with, they put so much stock into making a "nice holiday" for the kids, which to them means buying lots of stuff.

Yeah, I see that too. I see it as a kind of double whammy. On the one hand, chronic (as distinct from situational) poverty so often coincides with an absence of critical thinking (I'll save my opinions about the reasons ...) - the parents were never given the tools to judge the cultural messages they receive. On the other hand, poverty is so deeply stigmatized in the US that parents quite rightly want to do whatever they can to spare their kids ridicule, even if it means accepting all the consumerist messages and spending money they don't have.

[Crankin]

I totally agree, Oak.
A few of my clients have told me that they are toning it down this year. And, when I put in my list for people to receive gifts from various benefactors, I only had 6.... 4 of my clients and 2 siblings. The clinic administrator called me in on this, and I told her that not everyone I work with is super poor (which is true). In reality, I didn't include the 2-3 people who would financially qualify, but already have gone overboard in buying gifts for the kids. I am sure they all think my bah humbug attitude is from not being Christian, but I have spoken to at least one other clinician who didn't put in any requests for this very reason.

[Trek-chick]

Both DH's family and mine always buy for the kids until they graduate HS. We do a gift exchange for one person (do a name draw at Thanksgiving) on each side 25-50$ so, we are not really spending a ton of money.

But, DH and I spend (some would say) an extravagant amount on each other for X-Mas. We do not have any children ourselves and we do not buy any other gifts for holidays/special occasions including B-Days. We usually just go to dinner so, that is how I/we justify it.

[Catrin]

I don't have a family (as far as a partner and/or kids are concerned), and my family is in Tennessee for the most part. I've not the budget for gift buying, so I am focusing on doing my best to actually be physically present at Christmas this year, and I am taking a "Christmas Duck" (rather than a turkey or goose) home for the holiday meal and I will cook it. I will likely take the makings for some other treats, like my special chocolate chip cookies, or some other such treat. I hope we can spend some quality time together and make THAT the focus of the holiday.

[GLC1968]

I grew up in a household where my parents used to hide our presents in closets when company came over because it was so excessive it was embarrassing. Standard response when we were kids and asked for ANYTHING (even a pack of gum!) was 'Christmas is coming!'...even if it was January. We were ridiculously spoiled by our parents, our grandparents and our aunt.

Now? We have no children in our immediate family. My brother and his wife haven't had kids yet and my husband and I opted out. My husband is an only child and he has virtually zero contact with his first wife and his parents have passed away. Because of this, the holidays are what ever we want them to be and lately, they've been a little scrooge-like.

This year though, we are all travelling to Florida to spend a week with my parents. My oldest cousin and his wife and their two young kids will also be there, so it should be very festive. We've agreed to no gifts (only stocking stuffers) but I assume that won't apply to the kids. I'll wait until we get there before buying anything though, just in case. And the best part? I haven't been this excited about Christmas since I was a kid! I can't wait for the parties at my parents house, big family dinners, watching football with my dad and husband, a trip to the beach for grouper sandwiches and reliving all the silly little family traditions (including our traditional Christmas breakfast) with my family. Plus, I haven't seen my brother or his wife in 4 years, so it'll be so much fun to have plenty of time to catch up! To me, Christmas is about family and it always has been...even though we were horribly spoiled as children. Somehow, even with all those gifts, my parents clearly did something right because both my brother and I feel the same way. It's not about the presents, it's about family and the 'traditions'.

[Trek-chick]

I buy gifts for our dogs too I like to get them all riled up and watch them tear into the presents. They know how to unwrap them too....(but, I just wrap loosely in tissue paper)

our Lab used to get so excited, she opened one of hers before Christmas day! She had a thing for squeeky toys so, I got her one that had like 12 squeekers in it. She opened it and tore out most all squeekers when DH and I left one night to do some last minute shopping. Came home to stuffing, random stuffed animal body parts, and squeekers all over the family room. LOL