Well, I never was the "opposite" opinion, of no gift giving at all, but I did try to contain it. We had the usual requisite birthday parties, but tried to contain it with limiting the amount of guests! One of my kids was very overstimulated by any celebration and I had to consider that.
My dad is low income at this stage of his life, but he would be very offended if I sent him a check. He still considers himself "the father," even though he just moved in with my brother and no longer has the means to provide what he did during my childhood (he's almost 88 and still quite active).He appreciates the gifts. I try to consider his interests. Since my mom died, I don't get gifts from him, but I do get a card and a phone call.
It sounds like a lot of your experience is culturally based, I agree. From my perspective, what I dislike about this season is with many of the families I work with, they put so much stock into making a "nice holiday" for the kids, which to them means buying lots of stuff. Of course, some of them try to buy their way to getting their kids to behave, but it seems like too many people are willing to put themselves in debt for this.
Just my opinion. Now that I can afford it, I love buying gifts for my kids, maybe because I know that as adults, they really appreciate it.