Gap year(s)

[smilingcat]

I'll second GLC. I too am an engineer. Grades matter and your drive and purpose in the engineering field matters very much. If she wants to take a gap year, she BETTER have a focused purpose.

I dropped out of HS and never got a GED or what ever that thing is called. Dropped out in Junior year and went straight to an IVY League school. I was determined and I was very focused on what I want to do in my life. I didn't have second thoughts about it. So I'm bit of an odd duck. Also didn't take any break from BS degree to my Masters and I quit during Phd program. I wasn't interested in becoming a tenure track professor at any university although I was a research staff at my alma mater. Different department though. I have loftier plans than to collect more wall/fly paper (honors degrees etc. My father already did that with his MD, Phd in BioChem... or other members of family uncles aunts cousins...) Only one in my family NOT to have a college degree is my sister. I think she was overwhelmed with all the "fly papers" on the wall.

[Trek420]

Only one in my family NOT to have a college degree is my sister. I think she was overwhelmed with all the "fly papers" on the wall.

I'm that person; the only one without a degree. Mom's got a masters, Dad a bachelors in chem, siblings are tenured, published college professors, Knott has 2 bachelors degrees and various and sundry medical certifications, sKnott's on his way, MIL's an author, aunts, uncles and cousins include UN translators, school administrators etc etc ...

In my second year of college my parents asked some questions. In hindsight I should have smiled and shut up but I said "Yes, I'm gay". Since they were supporting me and paying my way through school that ended. I remember clearly thinking that would not stop me and it did not. I found full time work first as a dishwasher, moved up, eventually was a souse chef in some hoity toity places. And while doing that went back to school. So working nights and weekend at hard physical work full time and during the day in school full time. But i got my grades up (some of the college work was pass/fail and I needed grades), the stuff outa the way in the community college (cheap! ) and transfered into a private art school.

And of course all that time repaired/built bridges with my parents, my biggest concern.

I was 3 classes shy of graduating when a disastrous break up (aren't they all so much fun?) happened. I was tired, and tired of the full time night and weekend work plus full time school and I was beginning to get design jobs. So I thought "I have the portfolio, I can quit school and go to work".

Big mistake. I never got that momentum back. I went on to get a really good job if you can ignore that the stress and inactivity nearly killed me but really good job. So that can be done without a degree. Tough, but it can be done. But now the lack of any degree feels like a great big, gaping hole in me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWSwfVDiq8

So back to school. I'll probably be the oldest person on any graduating stage but back to school somehow.

[indigoiis]

So back to school. I'll probably be the oldest person on any graduating stage but back to school somehow.

I can tell you from experience it really is worth it. But I don't feel like it's a must-have anymore. I like the choices I made. I like being in school right now. And to tell the truth, there are a lot of adults who go back, so you won't be alone. Even in art school.

[shootingstar]

Congrats. to Trek and others here who have the courage and enthusiasm to go back to school! It's another intense journey in life.

[Blueberry]

I've been watching this thread with a lot of interest. I went to a (public) residential high school, and then went to a great college (which wasn't a good fit for me - but my parents like the name and wouldn't pay for me to see another one, so I would have had to go sight-unseen). I went into the engineering school (because that's what they wanted, though I already knew I hated it), worked the max number of hours allowed (because I had to pay the parent contribution too), got some not so good advice and didn't do well in classes my first year - because I didn't want to be doing that track, and ended up graduating with a degree in political science because that's what I had time to get after running far, far away from science. I then went to law school because what the heck else was I going to do with a political science degree. I stuck with law for almost 9 years - which was about 8 years too long. It was a terrible fit for me, and I wasn't happy. So...now I'm starting at square one with science classes and working on getting the pre-medical requirements under my belt, then hopefully med school.

What do I wish I had done differently/my parents had done differently? Gotten some real-life career exposure somewhere. I didn't know to ask for it, and they weren't engaged enough to think of it. Maybe not gone to the really hard high school (though that's where I met DH and I'd like to keep him) - I was burned out when I hit college. Not been pushed to work so much to cover my part of the financial aid and theirs (they could have paid, they chose not to) - I just couldn't focus in an 8AM class when I worked until after 11PM. If I had been able to take a year off, it might have made all of the difference (but I probably would have just had to fund my parents - what I did with my summer jobs in high school). Bleh.

Not sure if there's a point here, but hopefully it's a good cautionary tale (and an it's not too late tale).

[OakLeaf]

(((((Trek)))))

I don't think you'll be THE oldest.

DH is really sensitive about not having been to college. I think people like me who come from a place where like everyone we knew went to college, don't necessarily understand that sensitivity. I surely didn't, and I still inadvertently say the wrong thing around DH sometimes. Even though I grew up around my mom - who dropped out after two years to get married and start a family, and for almost two decades dreamed about being in college, until she finally joined Teacher Corps and finished her degree at I think 37.

[Crankin]

I had no issue getting my second master's at age 57. I was not the oldest of my cohorts. I had been told there was a man in his 80s, who went through the counseling psych. program a few years ago.

[withm]

I was in my 50s when I completed my MA. There were students older than me in the program. Go for it.

[Trek420]

I grew up around my mom - who dropped out after two years to get married and start a family, and for almost two decades dreamed about being in college, until she finally joined Teacher Corps and finished her degree at I think 37.

My mom dropped out of Cal where she was pursuing an architecture degree when WWII happened. She had learned enough by then to work on logistics of the Liberty ships and she designed the home we kids grew up in (amazing design). She went back to school at about 40 when I started kindergarten and completed a Masters in early childhood ed.

... I don't feel like it's a must-have anymore. I like the choices I made. I like being in school right now. And to tell the truth, there are a lot of adults who go back, so you won't be alone.

I think there's a lot of acceptance of the working student, the returning student now. And if there's an HR person in the bunch I've been told in job search coaching that it's a good thing when it comes to education in putting something like "BA in art in process". Hope that's correct. In fact it's funny since they may think "oh, 20's" and one shows up "50's? Looks 40. Well she bikes".

Like my climbing, slow, steady progress I suppose.

But back to the OP; sure. Take a gap year. But I'd make sure it somehow prepares one for school. Because I can tell you once you take your foot off the pedal even for a moment or a term it's so hard to get back going again. If I had it to do over I would have never stopped.

[Melalvai]

I felt a little guilty because I haven't checked in for a few days to see if I had any answers to my question, but whoa! What a great conversation! Thank you so much for all your replies.

I'll tell her about Habitat for Humanity and Americorps. I think she's pretty set on going straight to college, which is ok too. Maybe after a semester or two or four, she'll want to take that gap year after all.

This has me thinking that maybe I need a gap year now.

Yeah, me too!

If I had to do it all over again, I would take a year off or so, and ride across country by bike.

Yeah, me too! Actually I'd like to do the Superheroes Ride.

I always felt I traded a gap year or traveling abroad, that sort of thing, for getting married early & having a kid. It was a pretty good trade!