Well you have come to the right place. Forget all the other forums! The ladies here know all!!!!!!
My two cents: As stated before, engage core. Wear gloves. Your hands should not be holding you up, your core should be. Unlock those elbows. That will take a lot of the weight off the hands. Also, invest in good bike shorts (worn commando). I wouldn't get on a bike without them. If you need a pillow, you need a new saddle! I'm assuming you also are wearing a helmet and glasses.
You may want to consider whether the bike you have in worth the expense of a complete fit. You may be throwing good money after good. You may want/need a new bike (that's ok. We are a bunch of new bike enablers here!) Not sure what type of bike you need for your mix of terrain, but you definitely need to keep that in mind. Hopefully a few of the ladies in the know will chime in on that topic.
Sounds like a road trip (by car) is in your future. Spend some time in a few lbs's (local bike stores). Ask questions, ride bikes, ask more questions, sit on bikes, etc.
Bike fit is so important. You may not need a complete fit to get the right bike, but a good sizing-type fitting as a minimum is critical. I found Specialized stores usually have offer pretty good sizing, possibly included in the purchase price.
By, the way, you have had excellent questions.
Enjoy riding, and welcome
2011 Specialized Ruby Comp
2015 Giant Liv Tempt 3