Dear Cat

[pll]

Dear Txukka

Now that I know how much you like them, next time I find a silverfish, I will call you before I smash it. Sorry you had to pick the bits of it out of the rug and the bottom of my shoe, although you sure seemed to be having fun.

eeewww. I never knew how those things were called. I googled "sliverfish" and now I know.

[smilingcat]

dear kitties in my household,

Your mom tried to find a rescue dog to keep company with your survivng dog. He does groom most of you with his tongue bath. He loves all of you but he has been lonely after our eldest dog passed away few month ago.

I'm sorry your mom made a terrible mistake and all of you have been living in absolute fear of the new dog.

I am really sorry Casey. I'm sorry the new dog almost killed you on three occasions in span of less than 7 days. both of your moms were horrified to see the dog attack you. I'm more than relieved that you didn't get hurt.

Your mom was gone most of the day today and the dog has been returned to the rescue group. So all of you can now come out.

It's safe. The big bad dog is gone. and I hope all of you can forgive me for the bad judgement.

Love mom

[kajero]

I know you didn't like the new litter box Don bought you, but did you really have to use the guest room carpet to poop on and my beautiful quilt to pee on for two weeks? You just knew I don't check that downstairs room very often, didn't you? Then again maybe you were trying to tell us something when you would go downstairs and howl.

I hope you will return to using your old litter box.

[lph]

Oh dear, kajero...

Dear cat,

gee, you really are smart. We were wondering why you didn't come over to brag about the big dead magpie, but just hunkered down there and stared at it. Unfortunately the magpie was even smarter - and fast. It's probably sitting in a tree right now telling tall tales to all its gabby friends about how it fooled the cat by playing dead. Sorry about that.

[nuliajuk]

Dear Taffy
It's great that your former human slave got you accustomed to a harness and lead, really it is. I enjoy taking the occasional walk around the street with you. Note the word "occasional". Honestly, I'd have gotten a dog if I wanted to be out for hours at a time, two or three times a day. Please, please, give me a rest.
And stop climbing the fence in the back yard to run along the tops of all the townhouse fences. Their yards aren't any more interesting than ours, I promise. I realize that you are part-Siamese and very athletic, but at age 12 you should at least be behaving like an adult cat and not the worlds' oldest kitten.

[skhill]

Dear Mica,
Sorry the dog chased you yesterday. We both thought she'd given up on that sort of thing. Remember, there's something you can do to stop this: imitate your buddy Moses and get aggressive. When the dog is looking frisky, get in her face growling and snarling and don't hesitate to use those claws. She's a smart dog, and will understand that you are not to be trifled with.

[lauraelmore1033]

Dear cat,
you are the closest thing to a grandchild that I'm gonna get, looks like. Thanks for playing along.
Grammy loooooves you sooooo much!

[kajero]

I know you didn't like the new litter box Don bought you, but did you really have to use the guest room carpet to poop on and my beautiful quilt to pee on for two weeks? You just knew I don't check that downstairs room very often, didn't you?

Dear Cat:

What do you have against me in that downstairs room?

We couldn't get the smell out of the carpet so we re-carpeted the room. We decided to do away with the guest room and turn it in to a sewing room for me.
So now you had to get behind me when I was ironing a seam. I tripped on your tail and dropped the iron on the new carpet. The sole plate melted the carpet and now I have a impression of the bottom of the iron on my brand new carpet. Perhaps I should be thankful the melted carpet doesn't smell like the litter box episode.

And you wonder why I quit buying treats.

Love, Mom.

PS thank you for returning to use your old litter box.

[kajero]

Dear Cat:

What do you have against me in that downstairs room?

Now you had slip into the room unnoticed, jump up on the cabinet, and topple my sewing accessory box to the floor. Everything is all over the place. I better be able to find all the sewing machine feet tomorrow morning when it is light out or your name is mud! Some of those accessories will be very expensive to replace if they have gone to no-mans' land.

You are absolutely trying my patience!

Mom

[smilingcat]

Why why why??

I woke this morning to find my desk completely "wiped clean". all my pencils and pens in a small pitcher were scattered on the floor. All the letters/bills that were neatly organized were found on the floor. My cell phone, mp3 players also on the floor. Everything was on the floor. You didn't miss a thing.

Then tonight, one of you went into my bathroom and knocked a roll of paper towel, half a roll, in the sink and proceeded to turn on the faucet hot water no less. I think its been running for more than half an hour.

There were other horrible deeds but they are so horrible I can't mention it here.

Your litter boxes are clean, your water bowls have fresh clean water, your food dishes gets washed twice a day. You get fed three times a day so what is the deal??

You say because its full moon tonight? But all of you are cats not dogs. Holly is a dog but she didn't do any of this.

Good thing my digital caliper didn't get broken or else!!

[lph]

Dear sweet drama queen of the universe,

we love you dearly and we want you to be well. Is there any possible chance you could, just for a few years now, suffer from something that wasn't mysterious, fleeting, and causing huge veterinary bills? Like ordinary cats do? I don't think there is a specific insurance for Hypochondriac Cats.