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ugh anxiety and stress are the worst. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I was diagnosed with PTSD just this past winter after leaving an abusive marriage. Debilitating panic attacks/nervous breakdowns plagued me for months and come to find out this is quite damaging to your brain and body the more you experience it. Their are some good resources out there but it is just a matter of finding them. You are correct in saying that you somehow learned this behavior and unfortunately our mind and body now uses that response in order to protect itself or warn us. You can train your mind to respond differently. I just started EMDR and a few people I know are going through this as well. It retrains the way you respond to a stressor.
http://www.emdr-therapy.com/emdr.html
There is also neurofeedback which is another method that remaps the way your brain responds to a stressor.
http://www.eeginfo.com/what-is-neurofeedback.htm
I hope these resources help. The EMDR and Neurofeedback have both helped the people that I know that have gone through the treatment.
I truly hope things get better for you and that you can get at the root of the anxiety.
Felt F65
Specialized Crux Expert Force (My baby)
I am so sorry you have had to go through that as well. Yeah, people I have spoke with have said the same, that I didn't notice right away but over time they saw results.
The jury is still out for me on the outcome with EMDR since my therapist is on vacation for like a monthbut I got to the point that I was willing to try anything in order to alleviate the anxiety and panic attacks. That's also when I really started to get into cycling this past spring. Sometimes I think cycling has helped me more than anything else. When I take 2 days off from cycling I can feel the anxiety and depression start to build up again and if I go out and crank on the pedals it all goes away.
Felt F65
Specialized Crux Expert Force (My baby)
One of the first things I prescribe for anxiety is physical activity. It's written in every treatment plan.
You wouldn't believe how many people think this is crazy and won't even try taking a walk. For people who do embrace the idea, it doesn't take very long for them to see how it helps.
2015 Trek Silque SSL
Specialized Oura
2011 Guru Praemio
Specialized Oura
2017 Specialized Ariel Sport