I was never close with my dad, either. But at least I was able to communicate with him if needed. I've always felt estranged with my parents; they were in Japan for 15 years and they suddenly came back here.

While I am thankful I had about 4 years before my dad died, it's been tough since he died. He did everything, so my mother had to learn to do things for herself. She called me ALL THE TIME - do this, do that, I can't do that for myself, you can speak english, I can't understand, etc etc.

I would say in the last 6 months she's gotten so insulated in her own misery that it's almost intolerable to be around her. I limit my time with her in person or on the phone, and thankfully she relies on my brother more now so I hardly hear from her unless she needs something (I remember one time when I was in university and I called her. She asked why I was calling - um, I can't call to say 'hi'?)

Anyways, I've been through therapy and all that, but I guess this one just caught me at a bad moment. I was having panicky moments thinking I've spent too much money (got a great deal, but it's still a lot of money!) and it really didn't help her saying not one nice thing about it. She'll likely move back to Japan permanently next year so I'll be free.

Oh, and chatnoir, a similar anecdote: for my birthday this year, my mother asked if I wanted anything, I said no. "how about money?" no thanks. Then she goes "you're right, why am I giving you money, YOU should be giving ME money." My boyfriend gave me an card from his mother, and in the card was a $50 bill; I had only met her twice before.