Cat advice needed (long)

[indysteel]

DH and I decided a number of weeks ago to adopt a stray that we'd otherwise been caring for outside. She's a one year old spayed female. We have two other cats, Henry (12) and Izzy (2). We have tried to follow the conventional advice when it comes to introducing a new cat. At first, the new cat, Matilda, was housed in one of our basement rooms. Henry and Izzy new "something" was there and they sniffed us a lot after our visits with Matilda. From there, we allowed the cats to see one another a number of times through a screen door. Those interactions mostly went okay with a minimum of hissing and growling. Frankly, neither Henry nor Matilda were all that interested. Izzy was the only one of the three who seemed obsessed with the Matilda's presence.

From there, we allowed some supervised visits. At first, it didn't go all that badly because Izzy was too nervous to get all that close. Mostly, Matilda just played while Izzy hung out in the corner of the room. But when she finally got some nerve up, it rapidly went downhill. She lunges/chases/attacks at Matilda every chance she gets. We've intervened rather quickly thanks to a water bottle, so nothing has gotten out of hand, but it's still scary.

At that point in the process, Matilda had to undergo dental surgery as she's chipped a tooth on something and it had to be extracted. We kept her in an upstairs bedroom and stopped the daily visits because I didn't want to risk a fight. In the meantime, we got two Feliway diffusers for the main area of the house. One has been going for almost a week, the other for just a couple of days. So far, Izzy seems no different, and she charged at Matilda yesterday again.

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I've never really had a difficult cat integration before so while I've been a multiple cat owner for a long time, this is the first really difficult introduction I've had to navigate. It's made all the more stressful because we otherwise have no takers for Matilda, and we've grown to really love her since she first showed up in April.

If anybody has any suggestions or words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate them. I know, sadly, that there's a chance that our home is just not the best place for her. I don't know where that leaves us though.

[Veronica]

More time.

How do you know Izzie is not trying to play with Matilda? My cat Cassie has this blood curdling cry when she wants to beat up on Tucker. But she really is just playing.

Veronica

[indysteel]

More time.

How do you know Izzie is not trying to play with Matilda? My cat Cassie has this blood curdling cry when she wants to beat up on Tucker. But she really is just playing.

Veronica

I'm used to Izzy's body language and vocalizations when she "attacks" Henry during play. This is very different and seemingly quite aggressive. Even if it's not intended such, Matilda is reacting to it aggressively herself.

But I agree that more time is needed. I just don't know what baby steps to take during that time. As it stands right now, we take Matilda downstairs and let her sit on the couch with us. If we let her down onto the floor, it takes only a minute or two for an attack to ensue.

[Veronica]

I hope someone chimes in with some good advice for you. I know how much you care about your fur babies. I've been lucky in how all my pets have adapted to each other - even my "rotten" Rottweiler who just seemed to understand that the bedroom was for cats only, unless there was a thunderstorm.

Veronica

[indysteel]

I hope someone chimes in with some good advice for you. I know how much you care about your fur babies. I've been lucky in how all my pets have adapted to each other - even my "rotten" Rottweiler who just seemed to understand that the bedroom was for cats only, unless there was a thunderstorm.

Veronica

Thanks, V. I sure do care about my fur babies. I never really wanted kids, but my cats provide an outlet for my maternal side. Plus, they're just so darn entertaining. Our house wouldn't be the same without them.

I just wish Izzy could channel the now-departed Sophie. She was so mellow when it came to other animals. She and Henry were best buddies, and I think he and Matilda could be friends if we could just get Izzy to simmer down.

[Veronica]

I am digging being on summer vacation because I can watch my two. Tucker chooses the oddest places to sleep - front paws in one of Thom's slippers? Cassie likes my pillow. They follow me around when they're not napping. Plus I'm getting some quality time with the "ferals". The Curlies and Gray Kitty do like their petting.

Hopefully, Izzie and Matilda will work it out. Maybe they just need to have a good spat.

Veronica

[smilingcat]

I've had big trouble with Mama cat. She was the rescue about 2 years ago. At first everything was going fine then it went downhill.

the problem was she wanted to be an alpha but we already had a well established hierarchy of 10 cats. If mama tried to start anything including our lowest cat on the totem pole, the alpha cat Brendon 10yo Main coon mix and the #2 cat Morgan 6yo rag doll would attack mama.

At first we figure on letting the cats sort it out themselves but it wasn't working.

One thing we didn't do is to take a towel and rub against all of our cats then onto mama to transfer the pack smell on her and reverse. I know this works for chicken. It's a crazy idea but it might reduce the tension.

Sometimes, you have to let the cats sort out their hierarchy themselves. And this means to let them fight it out. You have to be there to make sure no one gets seriously injured. It's nerve wracking to let them "have at it" but sometimes this is what it takes for them to sort out the order in the pack.

I think Izzy is being threatened by Matilda or Izzy doesn't want to become the Omega in three cat household and neither does Matilda.

Since Matilda is the newest, she should be on the bottom of the totem pole. You might want to feed your other two in plain sight of Matilda then feed Matilda last to let her know that she is on the bottom. This may also help.

[Koronin]

I agree that it sounds like there needs to be more time and that they need to sort out who is where in hierarchy.

Our three have a more or less truce with each other. Basically we have 3 cats that do not care for each very much. Although the youngest (and lowest on the totempole) actually would be lost without the other two. She really relies on them for reassurance. The other two are truly both Alpha cats. Basically they seem to have come to some arrangement that they basically just ignore each other.

On the other hand, it is a mistake to even think about bringing another cat into this household. We tried with a stray that adopted us before we moved. Basically all three hate him and decided to hiss and growl if he even moved. He now lives very happily with my mom and my mom's cat who doesn't mind him being there. He's a big cat (about 18lbs when healthy) and is actually an Omega cat. But our three wanted him gone.

[Marquise]

Was also going to suggest rubbing towel on cats to get their smells on each other. Good luck!

[owlice]

More time may help, but it doesn't always. We have two states here: Uneasy (Snarling) Detente and War. It's been nearly six years; things have not improved, even with common enemies (the outdoor ferals) available.

[Catrin]

Was also going to suggest rubbing towel on cats to get their smells on each other. Good luck!

This is a good one, it helped me once in a similar situation. Sometimes it simply takes longer than others...hopefully they will eventually reach detente and then get beyond that.

[indysteel]

I think we've made a bit of progress this weekend. Most if our upstairs is off limits to the cats. So we took them both into our master bedroom for some supervised visits in what we hoped was neutral territory. Izzy is still fixated on her, but she mostly just watched her from a distance. The few times she started to chase, Matilda stopped her in her tracks with a few hisses. So, while we don't have detente, we don't have war either. This morning, Matilda chased a ball around the room and Izzy more or less left her alone. Our thought is to continue this process upstairs until there's virtually no real aggression before trying downstairs, where Izzy is more territorial, again. I imagine this is going to take a while.

[Koronin]

Very glad to hear you have some minor progress on what, I agree, should be more neutral territory.

[westtexas]

I wish I could offer you help, but I'm a terrible behaviorist. My cats still fuss and fume - all started by my older boy cat who will randomly walk up to poor Fat Luna and bite her. I just shout at them and they stop, haha. Shows you what a great trainer I am.

[smilingcat]

I wish I could offer you help, but I'm a terrible behaviorist. My cats still fuss and fume - all started by my older boy cat who will randomly walk up to poor Fat Luna and bite her. I just shout at them and they stop, haha. Shows you what a great trainer I am.

Does Fat Luna take old boy's food or treat? Biting on ear seems to be part of dominance thing. I've noticed this with my pride of cats. The boy who wants to be king keeps getting in trouble with my #2 Rag doll mix (8 yo). Rag doll mix is pretty laid back but after couple of hard bites on his ear by the boy who wants to be king, rag doll dishes out pretty hard. enough so that we have to intervene otherwise the boy cat (well he is all grown up at 5 years) will end up in ER. Boy cat doesn't even try with grampy, #1 main coon mix (13 or 14 yo). He wont tolerate it one bit.

Is there anything you can tell as to why your boy wants to do the dominant thing with Fat Luna? I think it has to do with food.