The not-diet

[ny biker]

But that is tough; it feels like a slap when maybe a slap is a bit much.

It's not a slap if you say it with a smile.

[GLC1968]

Yeah, food choices can be a sensitive subject. Basically, I just try to say as little as possible unless some asks specific questions. In the case of the fajitas, it's pretty weird, so I'd actually be more likely to order something less odd if I were dining with people who didn't already know my diet choice. A salad, hold the croutons, is decidedly less attention grabbing!

I will say that if a coworker was always telling me how yummy my food smelled, I would be flattered, not offended!

[tulip]

Order the fajitas and just don't eat the beans or rice or tortillas. No one will notice. If the do, say you don't care for them. Works for me, it really does.

[shootingstar]

If someone asks me I'm vegetarian, I tell them no except I eat lean meat 3-4 times per month. That's the end of it. I don't choose to anticipate any remarks from the questioner and move on to other topics.

They ask me if I drink wine, I say yes but please only give a small amount (ie. mean less than 2-3 inches high in the glass). I might make a semi-joke that I get drunk very easily probably due to allergy or whatever to alcohol. Which I do.

I do occasionally tell people foods that I no longer eat...ie. white rice. which of course, I add without them asking: "I don't feel well anymore when I eat lot of it It raises my blood sugar." The conversation touches into my former diet, which I allow it, even welcome it...since people assume that white rice is healthy for everyone. But no, I've never had people think less of me. I don't defend and just move on to other topics.

But I've never gone to anyone's home with their food offering and declare: "I can't eat white rice." I can still eat it, just alot less of it.

To me it's less of an issue probably because I hang out with people who are used to differences in food choices, etc. and aren't really that interested in much of an explanation anyway. They really don't care (nor really care to hear much of one's reasons). Even the people who I work with who I barely know.

[Blueberry]

My family is where I have the most difficulty. I suppose we don't eat out that often with friends (since I'm not in an office that dynamic is gone). Our diets are fairly open - reducing here and there, but not that many absolutely won't do's. However, we do not eat beef or pork and haven't for 10 years. It's always an issue at family holidays - particularly with my grandmother (who is otherwise a delightful person). She just can't wrap her brain around that requirement, and makes snide comments every time.

[GLC1968]

Order the fajitas and just don't eat the beans or rice or tortillas. No one will notice. If the do, say you don't care for them. Works for me, it really does.

I'd much rather explain my choices than waste food though. And I do often use the line that "I'm not a fan" of whatever it is. 'Saving room for X' works well too (X often = quacamole!)

[Irulan]

She just can't wrap her brain around that requirement, and makes snide comments every time.

How sad for her.

[shootingstar]

'Saving room for X' works well too

That's an excellent comment to help deflect attention to some food that is more "positive" for oneself.

[Veronica]

Family issues are hard. Thom's mom likes to cook with Splenda, which gives me a headache. My family never met a deep fried thing they didn't like.

And Cool Whip... I've always thought that stuff was nasty.

Veronica

[Tri Girl]

see- I'm totally different. I eat a plant-based diet, so often people will ask if I'm vegan and I say yes. Mostly they're curious about what I eat (they don't think you can eat anything but raw vegetables), so I try to educate when asked. I don't openly go around boasting that I eat like a Vegan, but if it comes up I will not back away from it. I often have to ask servers at restaurants for tips about what to get on the menu (although I'm getting good at piecing meals together from various menu items).

This isn't a diet (although technically it is). I haven't lost much weight, and even though I need to, that doesn't bother me. What matters is that my cholesterol has dropped 45 points and I don't have to be on statins. And that my nails are longer and stronger than they've ever been in my life, and that I sleep so much better, and recover from hard workouts faster. Diet sure has become a 4 letter word in our society, and that's really quite a shame.

[margo49]

It's a language problem too.

I know in Hebrew the word for diet is "dee-etta" so it is a straight borrow from English. It is the word people use for a Special Temporary Eating Plan Towards a Goal.
But a food discussion on life-long (long term) plans or changes uses the word for "Nutrition". Which is much more accurate of course.

How can we distinguish in English?

[lph]

How about "No, I'm not on a diet. I just like to eat this way "

[Reesha]

I think what irks me the most is when I go out for lunch with my mother and sister (both overweight for many years now) and I order a healthier choice they sometimes look at me accusingly and ask what fad diet I was on now. They have also been known to order dessert and eat it as indulgently as possible to spite me. I think they see my choices as a critique of them, but that's their issue not mine.

[indysteel]

I think they see my choices as a critique of them, but that's their issue not mine.

That's a very healthy way to look at it.

[Tri Girl]

That's a very healthy way to look at it.

+1
It's definitely their issue!

I think a lot of times people know they are eating poorly and need to make a change so when someone is eating the way they know they SHOULD be, they get defensive (which is really quite stupid).

I will shamefully admit that when I was VERY overweight, I hated eating around thinner people who ate healthy because it was a reminder of how fat and unhealthy *I* was and that really bothered me deep down and made me feel bad about myself. They did nothing wrong and it was no fault of theirs, but their healthy choices made me feel bad about my unhealthy ones and that came across as me being judgemental (although I don't know that I was ever snarky about it or ever said anything rude to anyone about their choices). Does that make sense?