Dear Cat

[skhill]

Dear outside kitty,

I'm really sorry I didn't see you there until my dog lunged and cornered you. Glad you know how to take care of yourself-- Stella walked away with bloody nose and forehead. I'm afraid you didn't cure her of going after cats, but I'll keep a closer eye on her.

[Owlie]

Dear cat:

A couple of things:
1) Thank you so much for sticking your paws in my cereal this morning. I assure you that it's perfectly safe for me to eat, but it is not kitty food. You're lactose-intolerant, and there's a reason I feed you low-grain food. You should also note that I don't stick my hands in your food while you're eating, and at least wash them!

2) The reason I keep accidentally kicking you is that you somehow manage to get underfoot. While it's sweet that you like following me around, it would be rather nice if you could stay more than six inches from me. Also, please stop hanging out in the bathroom doorway when the lights are out. A black kitty in a dark room is an accident waiting to happen!

Love,
Me.