Know any women living close to 100 yrs.?

[lph]

Those were very interesting articles, Oak, especially the one about "invoking hospice", as a way of achieving calm. It reminded me a little of when my son had to have a sudden minor operation. The hospital wanted him to spend the night afterwards, in a hot, noisy, shared room where he got no rest or sleep at all until I begged for us to be allowed to sleep in the waiting room, which was empty and quiet. I couldn't help thinking that hospital routines were great for the staff but pretty terrible for aiding a quick and natural recovery from minor stuff.

But I wondered about the first one. What kind of response were they expecting or hoping for? I'm a firm believer in modern medicine and will staunchly defend it in most situations, but there's only so much you can predict about how long a person has left, isn't there? It seems to me that only sensible response to "how long will you live" is exactly that - "I don't know."

[OakLeaf]

But I wondered about the first one. What kind of response were they expecting or hoping for? ... there's only so much you can predict about how long a person has left, isn't there? It seems to me that only sensible response to "how long will you live" is exactly that - "I don't know."

For me and hopefully for you, that's absolutely right. But the population in the study was people who qualified for hospice. And the choice that glaringly absent from the survey was any choice that took an active role.

I've already done some hard thinking and writing about what is and is not an acceptable quality of life for me. IMO every adult should do that, because it's healthy young people who have the most uncertainty about when a sudden trauma or acute illness could permanently deprive them of quality of life. It's an individual decision and one that people can have extreme differences about. But when an individual has decided that she's "ready to go" - which is difficult enough to admit in our culture - it's just sad when cultural or family pressures deprive them of the option.

[shootingstar]

It is difficult for each of us to face our mortality and take steps to plan well in advance, many years in advance. Unfortunately (or fortunately) my sister who is a doctor, probably will end up fielding simple layperson's questions from her own family. She has advised that at the very least, to name a trusted individual (legally) for power concerning one's own health care, should one becomes unable to make decision.

And it requires financial planning well in advance by the patient to get some paid care where there maybe gaps in services that no single health care service can properly cover. It truly amazes me when I read about the growing trend (at least in Canada) retired parents loaning huge amounts of money/remortgaging their home to their children, etc. Have they even considered covering the cost of their own health care and accommodation near the end of life?

My partner's mother did request 15 years (when she was healthy) before she died, that no heroic efforts for saving her if her brain didn't function (or something similar).

She died in her sleep at night when her heart ran out.. in the nursing home. By coincidence or maybe subconscious, she just met with some relatives 1 wk. before who were visiting vacationing in western Canada after flying from Germany.

We are glad she saw them /vice versa.

It makes one wonder if a person/patient had the right/ability to name hospice care in advance, if that will cause an avalanche of backlog requests to the health care system, in terms of some professionals to provide support. I don't get the powerful impression that hospice care is an area that is even cohesive in terms of services. It seems to be abit niched for certain major terminal illnesses. But what do I know. EAch jurisdiction is different.