I used to get frustrated and angry with people often. Then with a lot of self awreness and dicipline, I employed some techniques that are very much what Melalvai describes and it does help to diffuse my own negative reations. I don't engage people directly and ask them about their motivations, but I do try to remind myself that their behaviour is a result of their issues and has nothing to do with me. I also remind myself that my reaction is all about my issues and has nothing to do with them.

At the same time I agree very much with Indysteel and I tend to work with a lot of boundries as well. It's just not worth exposing yourself to someone's dysfunction much of the time.