Dear local company,

Please stop dragging your feet and decide if you want to make DH an offer. For one thing, you won't regret it. And for another, there really is another company on the other side of the country that is ready to deal. Thirdly, I really really really really really don't want to move again.

Just please try not to think about it too long. Pretty please?

Limbo is its own kind of hell.