I don't disagree SK (dh and I eloped if that tells you want I think of weddings). Certainly, I think it's more than fair for adult children to foot the bill for their own wedding, as most of my friends have. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with parents voluntarily offering a modest amount of assistance if it is within their means to do so. After all, no matter the age of the children, parents often do want to contribute. As far as I can tell from the OP, the step daughter hasn't asked them for money and might not. I got the sense that Dogmama was just trying to figure out if they wanted to volunteer some assistance.