Dear So and So

[Biciclista]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

[indysteel]

That sounds like a fun day, Mimi. I am so, so glad that Donald was home for Christmas!

[PamNY]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

Sounds lovely. I am so glad he's home.

[Blueberry]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

Mimi-

Sounds like a perfect day to me! I love Chinese food - our restaurants are closed on Christmas, but open leading up to...when we got home from all the craziness, we had Chinese leftovers! Yum!!

[Crankin]

You know, I guess my DIL has decided she doesn't want to share my son (the one who lives in CA) for the holidays. He has been incognito for about a week and *I know* they are in Philly, for the holidays. I don't begrudge her wanting to celebrate Christmas with her family, and Chanukah is not that important of a holiday, but it is definitely the case that I guess he can't fight her on this, because he is close enough to visit. They live in San Diego and we only see him once a year, maybe twice. This whole thing has upset my DH so much; after we went there in May, she treated us like crap and I could tell my son knows it. The only reason I haven't said anything is that he is coming to Quantico for 2 months of training and he will come here when he is DC, and we will also go down there. Frankly, I *am* looking forward to seeing him alone.
Of course, I only have a vague, Facebook suspicion of where he is (from her, DS is not on it), but it is possible that they are on vacation somewhere else. However, i will never insist on anything. I had the in-laws from hell and I swore long ago I wouldn't be like that.
I dread the first kid.

[indysteel]

I am sorry that you're in that position. Have you ever spoken to your son in private about it?

Trust me that I have tried to put myself in my in laws' shoes. I have tried to keep their feelings in mind, but by the same token, they do little to help their cause. They are depressed people who have allowed their world shrink to almost nothing. It's oppressive and they put a lot of weight on us to keep them entertained. DH senses it as much as I do, but he's better at blowing it off. Unfortunately, I think they blame me for the distance between us, but I think their own son is as much to blame.

[Owlie]

Dear Nintendo:
Rereleases of certain older games compatible with new systems would be appreciated...

Dear self: Go to bed, You left the video games behind for a reason.

[lph]

indy, I know how you feel. This is the reason I've gradually become a Christmas grouch - it's absolutely impossible to keep everybody happy because expectations are so sky high. No matter how much I actually do like both my in-laws and my parents, in each their way, we connect best doing certain things that we have in common, not trying to be this warm and fuzzy knot of happy family all together at Christmas time.

Last year I finally got to do what I wanted, and we ran away on holiday to the Middle East. It was great

[Crankin]

We both tried talking to him once, quite awhile ago, after his wedding reception, with happened about 9 months after the wedding. He told us that we have done nothing and that we were nuts to think he was mad in any way.
But, things have changed a bit. I really worry about her, as her dad has significant bipolar disorder and she seems a bit ah, moody.
We are definitely going to talk to him when he is here next month; I know he still loves us, which is what is important, but I can't compete against her family, which is big, loud, and other things which I think, he wanted as a kid, as opposed to us.

[indysteel]

We both tried talking to him once, quite awhile ago, after his wedding reception, with happened about 9 months after the wedding. He told us that we have done nothing and that we were nuts to think he was mad in any way.
But, things have changed a bit. I really worry about her, as her dad has significant bipolar disorder and she seems a bit ah, moody.
We are definitely going to talk to him when he is here next month; I know he still loves us, which is what is important, but I can't compete against her family, which is big, loud, and other things which I think, he wanted as a kid, as opposed to us.

I'm sorry to hear that, especially to the extent mood disorders have a strong genetic component. I hope your visit with him goes well.

As I've mentioned a number of times, my own family of origin leaves a lot to be desired--although my parents have thankfully gotten easier to deal with over the last few years. I desperately hoped to marry into a more functional and happy family. While my husband is, thankfully, a functional and happy person, his parents aren't and there isn't much in the way of an extended family either. But, I'm not going to let that ruin my holidays! I think one of the reasons I'm so careful to lay some boundaries with my in-laws is that I feel a very strong need to create my own happiness around the holidays--something I was deprived of for so long.

But that said, I'm not trying to hurt them unecessarily either. I do think there are plenty of perfectly acceptable compromises that will meet most of our needs most of the time. To the extent they would rather look at the bleak side of things, that's their decision. I'm trying really hard not to feel compelled to fix all of their feelings.

And maybe I'm not giving them enough credit. Maybe they're happier than they appear. I dunno. What I do know is that one of my New Year's resolutions is to worry less (and complain less) about them.

[shootingstar]

It's been over 10 years since I've spent Christmas with my birth family, parents and siblings since I've lived in a totally different province far away.

I've contemplated visiting at Christmas but have concluded each time that several family members are too busy themselves around CHristmas with seeing their in-laws, etc. and with their young children. I wouldn't be comfortable staying with them during that time vs. ie. summer or Thanksgiving time.

[indysteel]

Dear Coworker: Can you please explain why you chose not to close the stall door before using our public bathroom? I mean, you're not the first person I've ever seen pee, but jeez. They put doors on the stalls for a reason. How strange to walk into the restroom to see somebody openly sitting on a john.

Lordy, the public restroom at my office has turned into something out of the Twilight Zone.

[Blueberry]

Lordy, the public restroom at my office has turned into something out of the Twilight Zone.

I think it needs an exorcist

[Catrin]

...
Lordy, the public restroom at my office has turned into something out of the Twilight Zone.

Cue the Twilight Zone music...

Hope things improve here Indy, you've recently shared other issues with your workplace restroom....

[PamNY]

Lordy, the public restroom at my office has turned into something out of the Twilight Zone.

Maybe you should start a blog.