Dear So and So

[indysteel]

Dear in-laws: I've now written some version of this letter about five times, but I think I'll just keep it at this: I am sorry that you feel all alone when we aren't there for a holiday. On some level, that's sort of sweet. On another level, it's pretty darn sad. The two of you have one another. If that's not enough reason for a little Christmas spirit, then I feel sorry for you. But my sympathy does not obligate us to spend every holiday with you. We'll do our best to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with you each year in some fashion, but you have to alter your expectations a bit, too. It makes me sad that you would begrudge my parents a holiday with us because you see yourself as more "alone" simply because I have siblings. How many times have I told you that my parents are basically estranged from my alcoholic siblings. Regardless, that attitude isn't really fair to my parents, is it?

Let's just hope Holidays 2012 go a bit better. I at least have a better idea of what kind of thinking/feelings I'm dealing with. But, please, try to stop feeling so sorry for yourselves. You see us plenty IMO. It seems to me that you are choosing to view the holidays through this prism.

[Blueberry]

((((Indy)))))

Been there, done that. No easy answers. You have a very positive attitude!

(if my family had their way, DH and I would split up for the holidays so everyone gets their child, and they have some "alone" time with me - not gonna happen)

[indysteel]

((((Indy)))))

Been there, done that. No easy answers. You have a very positive attitude!

(if my family had their way, DH and I would split up for the holidays so everyone gets their child, and they have some "alone" time with me - not gonna happen)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my in-laws would prefer it, too. And, like you, that isn't going to happen. What bums me out even more is that for all their pining away for some holiday ideal, they aren't exactly festive and celebratory. Even with us there, it's pretty somber. I can't win.

[Blueberry]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my in-laws would prefer it, too. And, like you, that isn't going to happen. What bums me out even more is that for all their pining away for some holiday ideal, they aren't exactly festive and celebratory. Even with us there, it's pretty somber. I can't win.

Sounds like my father. He gets a card. The last time we came for the holidays, he didn't have a single decoration up. I bought food, cooked Christmas eve dinner and something on Christmas day (both of which weren't, apparently, to his taste), and we drove home. Now, we either travel or deal with my mother and her side. We would, I think, prefer to stay home - but they are close enough that it would be very awkward to decline to visit.

[Biciclista]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

[indysteel]

That sounds like a fun day, Mimi. I am so, so glad that Donald was home for Christmas!

[PamNY]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

Sounds lovely. I am so glad he's home.

[Blueberry]

this Christmas for us was quite different. although we couldn't stop the train, only delay it; (we're doing all the nonsense on the 30th instead of Christmas day) what Donald and I did was: we went to the movies and saw the adventures of Tin TIn, then we went to a great Chinese restaurant with our son who lives in town.
I highly recommend Chinese food for Christmas dinner!

Mimi-

Sounds like a perfect day to me! I love Chinese food - our restaurants are closed on Christmas, but open leading up to...when we got home from all the craziness, we had Chinese leftovers! Yum!!

[Crankin]

You know, I guess my DIL has decided she doesn't want to share my son (the one who lives in CA) for the holidays. He has been incognito for about a week and *I know* they are in Philly, for the holidays. I don't begrudge her wanting to celebrate Christmas with her family, and Chanukah is not that important of a holiday, but it is definitely the case that I guess he can't fight her on this, because he is close enough to visit. They live in San Diego and we only see him once a year, maybe twice. This whole thing has upset my DH so much; after we went there in May, she treated us like crap and I could tell my son knows it. The only reason I haven't said anything is that he is coming to Quantico for 2 months of training and he will come here when he is DC, and we will also go down there. Frankly, I *am* looking forward to seeing him alone.
Of course, I only have a vague, Facebook suspicion of where he is (from her, DS is not on it), but it is possible that they are on vacation somewhere else. However, i will never insist on anything. I had the in-laws from hell and I swore long ago I wouldn't be like that.
I dread the first kid.