OK, I don't have much time to reply.
While I generally agree with V, I don't have any intention of dropping the friend I originally wrote about. I could say something to her if it happens again. The other one, well it has to do with celebrating the Jewish holidays with them &occasional socializing. I don't see my relatives here anymore and the others are in CA, except for DS 1. I feel guilty, I guess.
My life has totally changed, which is the gist of it