12 Things Happy People Do Differently

[goldfinch]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

[Irulan]

I agree. Exercise has helped me, but only after I laid some serious groundwork in therapy. But, at worst, I had mild to moderate depression.

I do wish docs would do a better job of urging their clients on drug therapies to also get conventional talk therapy, too. It's not that I have anything against the anti-depressants per se, but the success rate of talk therapy can be just as high and with far fewer side effects.

The flip side of this is that some folks just have biochemical imbalances... and when you have gone as far as you can in terms of healing through therapy, used self management strategies such as mindfulness and exercise, that there are things that only medication will fix. This is my situation and it took me a long time to accept it.

[ny biker]

Apparently atheists cannot be happy.

Personally, I put effort into social relationships but it doesn't get me much. Most of my old friends are too busy and attempts to meet new friends get me nowhere.

But then today is one of those days when a visit to the dentist is the quietest most relaxing part of the day, so perhaps I am not in the best frame of mind for a list like this.

[indysteel]

The flip side of this is that some folks just have biochemical imbalances... and when you have gone as far as you can in terms of healing through therapy, used self management strategies such as mindfulness and exercise, that there are things that only medication will fix. This is my situation and it took me a long time to accept it.

I don't have any issue with this and I am sorry if I implied that I did. What I have issues with are docs--often GPs--prescribing antidepressants and antianxiety drugs for patients without taking also taking a broader view of other or additional treatments or approaches. Obviously some people need drugs. I am not disputing that.

[Melalvai]

I was nodding my head at everything until the last one, #12. I think it's very dangerous to suggest that people who are clinically depressed can just exercise and *poof* they're cured!

I didn't get the impression that was what #12 was suggesting. According to the research mentioned in #12, exercise was twice as effective as zoloft. Zoloft doesn't work for everyone (only for a minority of people, right?) That still leaves plenty of room for people who can't be helped by either.

I found #6 helpful: Develop strategies for coping. Typically my reaction is to do everything in my power to prevent whatever trauma has just occurred from ever ever EVER happening again. But I can't really control that (or it probably wouldn't have happened in the first place). So it makes more sense to plan coping strategies ahead of time. Like when my daughter was little and we used to practice what to do in a fire or emergency, mainly because it was kind of fun to climb out the window.

[indysteel]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

Agreed. That's pretty stupid.

[zoom-zoom]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

Ha, I particularly hate the term "diva." Diva is what we used to call spoiled, obnoxious, self-centered b*tches or drag queens. I don't particularly ever want to have that moniker attached to me simply because I am a strong and active female.

[Crankin]

Yeah, I don't like that girlie talk, either.
But then, of course, I've been told that I "think like a man."
OK.

[goldfinch]

Apparently atheists cannot be happy.

Personally, I put effort into social relationships but it doesn't get me much. Most of my old friends are too busy and attempts to meet new friends get me nowhere.

But then today is one of those days when a visit to the dentist is the quietest most relaxing part of the day, so perhaps I am not in the best frame of mind for a list like this.

I'm not in the best frame of mind either. I've been sick for a week and am a bit cranky.

Her "spirituality" comments imply that if you are not spiritual or religious you think too much of yourself. And tying in the "calling" comment with religion also is exclusionary. It is great and wonderful if you find work you love, is meaningful, and fits your values. But religion or spirituality doesn't have to play a part.

Ok! Done venting on her.

[shootingstar]

Words of advice, as just that: advice.

Talk is easy ....for the poster of that blog article link that started this thread.

Sure, I cultivate optimism, at times, I think because I numb myself for some very drastic/sad things that have happened in past 12 months.

For myself, a better route is not to pretend or think I will be continuously optimistic, just to be at peace and more contemplative. This is good enough for me, because I can move to the "happier" state or just allow myself to feel sad.

[zoom-zoom]

I didn't take the spirituality bit to necessarily equal religion, per se. I pretty much fall into the secular humanist pigeon-hole and my hubby is an atheist. My definition of spirituality is more the strength I draw from myself, those around me, and the power of nature and Science. Not a deity.

[GLC1968]

I didn't take the spirituality bit to necessarily equal religion, per se. I pretty much fall into the secular humanist pigeon-hole and my hubby is an atheist. My definition of spirituality is more the strength I draw from myself, those around me, and the power of nature and Science. Not a deity.

This, exactly.

Though I probably would qualify as an atheist, I just choose not to label my beliefs.

[indysteel]

This, exactly.

Though I probably would qualify as an atheist, I just choose not to label my beliefs.

Me, too.

I'm sorry some of you took issue to all or part of the blog post. I didn't post it because I think there's only one set of habits/characteristics that make somebody happy. I just thought it offered some food for thought. As someone who has spent a number of years in therapy and relearned certain thought patterns and behaviors that have helped me be more consistently happy, I read some things in the post that resonated with me so I thought I'd share. In a nutshell, what I've learned is that happiness typically does not spring from passivity. Rather, it springs largely from conscious choices we make and habits we follow. Choices about what we tell ourselves about ourselves, about how we connect with others and the world around us, about whether we engage in things that are meaningful to us, and about how well we take care of our bodies and spirits (even if you don't believe in a god). This is just from my own experience, limited it may be. Of course, YMMV.

[Catrin]

My favorite part of the list was the bit on Flow...while the first thing that actually made me think of was my experience on my favorite mountain bike trail (beginner that I am), there are many other ways to experience flow. Not allowing ourselves to get choked with living in the past, or obsessing over those things we cannot change or imaginary fears that never happen. I hadn't thought of that before and it really resounded with me. Thanks for posting the link!

[goldfinch]

Me, too.

I'm sorry some of you took issue to all or part of the blog post. I didn't post it because I think there's only one set of habits/characteristics that make somebody happy. I just thought it offered some food for thought. As someone who has spent a number of years in therapy and relearned certain thought patterns and behaviors that have helped me be more consistently happy, I read some things in the post that resonated with me so I thought I'd share. In a nutshell, what I've learned is that happiness typically does not spring from passivity. Rather, it springs largely from conscious choices we make and habits we follow. Choices about what we tell ourselves about ourselves, about how we connect with others and the world around us, about whether we engage in things that are meaningful to us, and about how well we take care of our bodies and spirits (even if you don't believe in a god). This is just from my own experience, limited it may be. Of course, YMMV.

I didn't mean to be so much of a poopy pants. Like Catrin, I also liked the stuff on flow. I loved being so fully immersed in something that nothing else exists. Very, very satisfying.