Simplefying the Holidays

[Owlie]

I don't do parties. I love baking, so I do a few batches of cookies. (One of those has to be oatmeal cookies, and we freeze them, so they last for a while unless DBF finds them...)

I have my tiny tree that I wrapped with lights my first year of college. My family does a big tree, a second tree in the basement (I do not know why, because we don't spend a lot of time down there, but decorating it is my dad's pet project), and one little one for the table in the entry hall. My mom does a few table-top decorations and lit wreaths for the windows. We do outdoor lights too, but they're low-key and don't take very long to put up, once we've found the lights. We like it.

I did Christmas cards last year for close friends from college. I figure people like getting mail that's not a bill. I don't know if I'll do it again this year. Maybe for two people.

Gifts are the hard thing. DBF and I get each other something useful or consumable (often tea), and then something silly.

[Miranda]

I've cut out a TON of stuff from what I used to do years ago.

The season is suppose to be about joy. If my heart is not filled with joy in doing "it" (whatever that may be)... then I've decided I'm simply not doing it lol.

[jessmarimba]

I was just thinking about this thread and the fact that my tree isn't up yet. And it occurred to me that with Dammit Cat (err, I mean Critter) and his need to play with or attempt to eat anything that isn't tied down, my tree might be awfully plain this year.

He's inside the Xmas storage box playing with tinsel as I type this...

[ny biker]

I generally don't feel like my holidays need to be simplified.

I have the holiday pot-luck lunch at work, a small party with the folks on the condo committee I'm on, and maybe the condo association holiday party if I feel like going. I am not burdened by many people wanting my company. I expect to have no plans for New Years Eve, since I don't usually have anything to do other than watch TV.

I buy gifts for family members (immediate family and the cousins I am closest to) and two other people -- my trainer and one friend. I enjoy shopping and can handle the crowded mall for a day or so.

I don't have a tree because I'm always at my parents' house on Christmas. I look forward to decorating their tree every year, and of course the ornaments I made as a child are always front and center. Some years I decorate my condo with lights in the windows and a few knick knacks, some years I don't. It depends on whether I feel like it, since no one else cares one way or the other.

I don't generally bake. A couple of years ago I got the recipe for rum cake that a co-worker always brought to the pot-luck lunch after he retired. I will probably make a few of them this year, but don't feel any pressure from anyone to do it. Mostly I do it because I really like this cake.

I always intend to send out a few cards to relatives and close friends who live far away, but I never get around to it. I'm going to try to write out one per day this year so I finally get some sent out.

[Bethany1]

This is one of the few years where I'm loving the holidays. DH and I have boring lives so there aren't any invites to parties and family lives far too much for a visit. Thankfully my in-laws move to Florida during the winter so I don't have to deal with them.

I actually bought a magazine with a paper tree on the cover, cut out all the strips and put the tree together with my daughters. That was tons of fun. I love blue and silver and it came out really nice.

I got out my Cricut cutter and made a a tree box from a pattern I bought and downloaded. Glue and paper are not my friends as I've discovered. I finally had to have my kids put it together. I'm not a scrapbooker, but bought the Cricut for quilting purposes. I've spent the past two days trying to figure out why my Cougar cutter is being all growly and finally figured it out earlier so I could do some more intricate projects that the Cricut can't do.

I think simplifying means doing the things that are special to you and your family. Anything else just turns into a chore.

I love Christmas cards and wish more people sent them to me. It's so much fun to see them lined up and specially arranged. I don't even care if they are generic. I thought about making cards and realized it would be a chore and way too expensive. I'm not that crafty.

The only thing I would love is a pair of hand knitted socks. I've tried several times to make a pair with a couple of books, but keeping track of the pattern, using the needles and counting kills me. I have two wonderful blue skeins of wool yarn that I had planned to use once I really knew what I was doing. Someday I'll figure it out.

[shootingstar]

The most elaborate thing we do is preparing for Christmas dinner (on Christmas Eve) and buying presents.

I left behind my Christmas tree in another city....so hmmm. The spirit will live on in other ways.

[limewave]

We used to draw names for the big family Christmas, but the last few years we have done Dirty Santa instead--it's easier and a lot more fun! If you want to participate you bring a wrapped gift to exchange. Everyone draws a number and then you get to open gifts in the order that you drew. After the first person goes, the next person can either steal a gift already opened or open a new one. If someone had their gift stolen, they get to open another gift. After all the presents are open, we draw numbers AGAIN and the real fun begins. Everyone "steals" a gift in the order of the numbers drawn. For once, being last really pays :-)

[marni]

We celebrate Sinterklass on or around Dec. 5th with a small open house for members of the local guild we belong to as well as our few biking friends. Christmas is one or two small gifts of things specifically asked for or gift certificates. We all cook dinner together, and I always make several traditional festive foods for breakfast brunch. I don''t do Christmas cards but since I don't communicate by letter very often and a lot of my family and friends are not that into computers, I always write a New Years' letter, rehash of a few noteable events from the year.

My oldest son, who came out from Washington DC to spend Thanksgiving with us got back and commented that "Christmas had arrived and vomited all over the place over the weekend." That's about the best description I have ever heard for the sudden appearance of festive decor and how I feel about it. Of course here in stepford wives style Katy, they have been up since just after Halloween on all the public sites. But Christmas sure vomited all over the neighborhood with lights, ornaments, 20' inflatable things and 8 foot snow globes over the weekend. Where oh where are the strong winds when we really need them?

just sayin.

marni

[Dannielle]

I have to keep life simplified during the holiday season to survive it lol. I go into full on "elf mode" with my doll/toy-making business and have to let a lot of things slide.

I used to go nuts during the holidays with baking, decorating, etc but when time constraints no longer allowed for such things I actually asked my family which traditions meant something to them. It was a surprisingly short list. And there were a lot of things I had always considered essential that no one really cared about.

These days I make sure we do the things that are important to my family and I skip the rest.

[Veronica]

Our mail to list has gotten much shorter. Unless you're one of the "protected" old folk, if we don't hear from you for three years, you're off the list.

I go to Barnes and Noble after Christmas and buy marked down "Made in the USA" cards. They have a pretty good selection of these. I just buy a bunch every couple of years. I need to go again this year.

Veronica

[Crankin]

I do a few cards to people from long ago... in other words, people I don't see.
I don't celebrate Christmas and Chanukah has always been a "for the children" type of holiday for me. I hate that people have made a minor holiday into something its not, because of societal pressure. So, generally, I buy one larger present for both DSs and their spouses. It's easier than just giving something like, 4 sweaters or some smaller item. Both are bought on line, but we give it to the ones that live here in person. I send something to my dad, ordered on line. DH and I do not exchange gifts. Our anniversary is 12/8 and that's enough. I celebrate Chanukah with a small group of friends. This year I am doing it. It's latkes and usually some type of dairy spread (tuna, salads, bagels and cream cheese, and dessert). It's a pot luck, little stress. I buy these friends small gifts at locally owned stores, usually around Thanksgiving, during independent business weekend, or at one of the many local artisan shows in the beginning of December.
The only holiday parties I usually get invited to are work related. I really don't want to go this year, as I have to rearrange my client schedule, to go to a party that's at my clinical director's house, near my office, which is far from where I live. But it will look bad if I don't go. Still deciding on that. DH's company stopped doing big holiday-spouse invited parties about 5 years ago. They do a thing for employees in January.
While I sort of like the festive feeling of this time of year, I generally pay no attention to most of it. I do like New Year's Eve and if I don't go away, for nordic skiing, we go out to a nice place, or have a party where everyone brings something. It was a little different when my kids were small, as we made a big deal about the meaning of Chanukah (freedom) and helping them not feel like outsiders, especially when we lived in AZ and we were more of a minority. We do the obligatory Chinese food on Christmas Eve, although last year, we went to our closest friends' house for dinner. The past few years we have either gone on an AMC hike, or x country skied/snow shoed on Christmas Day, although a few years, it's been warm enough to ride.

[indysteel]

The flip side of this discussion and something that's been on my mind is how to develop some Christmas/holiday traditions for my husband and me that are separate and apart from what share with our respective parents. At the risk of further complicating the season, I don't want our holidays to be defined solely by what we do with our respective families. There are some challenges to that in that (1) DH's parents live 2 1/2 hours away and are not festive, celebratory people and (2) my parents live nearby and while they are a bit more festive, they (or at least my mom) is also slightly nuts. Our visits with both sets of parents tend to be short and constrained. As it currently stands, we spend alternating holidays with them. So, we went to Kentucky for Thanksgiving (drove there on Thursday and returned after dinner on Friday) and will be in town for Christmas. Next year, it will presumably be the reverse.

Thanksgiving ended up being kind of a wash. We came back early enough from Kentucky to do a bit of our own thing, including putting up the Christmas tree. For Christmas, we'll likely end up at my parents for dinner but will have the bulk of the day for ourselves. I'd like to make a nice dinner Christmas Eve and then do our gift exchange Christmas morning. If we're lucky, maybe we'll be able to get outside for a bit. We're not big on parties, so New Year's Eve is usually spent at home. I intend to do a repeat performance of last year's meal: coq au vin. Yum, yum. Champagne is in order as well.

Anyway, I'm curious as to what the rest of you have done to develop your own Christmas traditions distinct from your family of origin. I'd note that we don't have, nor do we intend to have, kids--unless you count our cats (which we do).

[ny biker]

My oldest son, who came out from Washington DC to spend Thanksgiving with us got back and commented that "Christmas had arrived and vomited all over the place over the weekend." That's about the best description I have ever heard for the sudden appearance of festive decor and how I feel about it. Of course here in stepford wives style Katy, they have been up since just after Halloween on all the public sites. But Christmas sure vomited all over the neighborhood with lights, ornaments, 20' inflatable things and 8 foot snow globes over the weekend. Where oh where are the strong winds when we really need them?

just sayin.

marni

Honestly, I'm offended by this. Just because you don't enjoy decorating doesn't mean it's okay to insult the people who do. Peace on earth, good will towards men, etc.

re: developing your own traditions, I have no traditions of my own, unless you count traveling to my parents' house for vacation every year. As a family, some new traditions sort of developed on their own as my siblings had kids. My sister usually cooks dinner for me, my parents, her in-laws, and anyone else who's around (some years one of my other siblings and their family will spend the day with us all). We used to do a Christmas Eve get-together with various family members, but it's generally pretty flexible. There's always a visit to my cousin's house for dinner or dessert at some point during the holiday week. Basically we just have the goal of spending time with the extended family but also allowing each nuclear family to do their own thing.

Some years back my mother found a recipe for "holiday french toast" in a magazine, and she now makes it every year on Christmas morning for us. So that's become a tradition, regardless of who is visiting that year and where we might be going later in the day.

[malkin]

To make a new tradition, find something you like and keep doing it!

[indysteel]

To make a new tradition, find something you like and keep doing it!

I know....but I'd love to hear how other couples/people have addressed it. In talking with friends, it seems like a lot of them struggle with how to balance what they've always done with their families of origin with developing their own thing as a new couple or family. Some of my friends have used their young children as an excuse to sort of break free a bit, but we don't have that excuse. Plus, I'd love to hear some more about what other people's holiday traditions are.