Strange situation need advice please.

[salsabike]

I think first you need to get some rest for a couple of days.

Then do what your gut tells you to do.

I think this is right on. Other people's opinions and experiences are worth reading and make you think about your own, but they AREN'T the equivalent of your own. You need to get enough quiet around you to listen, really listen, to your heart. That's what will give you the advice that works for you.

[Catrin]

...You need to get enough quiet around you to listen, really listen, to your heart. That's what will give you the advice that works for you.

Yes, this.

[Brandi]

I of coarse can only really think of this right now. I listened to the message she left on our machine. And just got more mad. She mentioned that my dad did everything he was supposed to do for me while I was growing up. Whaaaaaa? Um ok. He stopped paying child support when I was 9 after his mom passed away and took $5,000.00 that was supposed to go to me from my grandmother after she died. Even though he says there was no money. A lawyer my mom had, found this paper work and found the money was given to him because he was the executor. I could go on but this made me even more angry that she said this when it is not true. Like she was trying to make me feel bad.
And then she said he really wants to see me. So why is he not calling? I just want to wash my hands of this. I honestly don't think I would have regret years down the line from this. Mainly because I don't know him. And my wanting to know him was just when I was growing up. Now I have so many wonderful people in my life I don't feel a loss or a void. Ugh!

I do feel more rested today. But need more for sure. It was so wonderful waking up to my kitties surrounding me this morning. All purring and so happy!
I really appreciate everyone's opinion. I really do. ((((hugs))))

[ny biker]

I of coarse can only really think of this right now. I listened to the message she left on our machine. And just got more mad. She mentioned that my dad did everything he was supposed to do for me while I was growing up. Whaaaaaa? Um ok. He stopped paying child support when I was 9 after his mom passed away and took $5,000.00 that was supposed to go to me from my grandmother after she died. Even though he says there was no money. A lawyer my mom had, found this paper work and found the money was given to him because he was the executor. I could go on but this made me even more angry that she said this when it is not true. Like she was trying to make me feel bad.
And then she said he really wants to see me. So why is he not calling? I just want to wash my hands of this. I honestly don't think I would have regret years down the line from this. Mainly because I don't know him. And my wanting to know him was just when I was growing up. Now I have so many wonderful people in my life I don't feel a loss or a void. Ugh!

I do feel more rested today. But need more for sure. It was so wonderful waking up to my kitties surrounding me this morning. All purring and so happy!
I really appreciate everyone's opinion. I really do. ((((hugs))))

Okay, some possibilities.

- Her understanding of his behavior as your father is probably incomplete and colored by whatever he has told her.

- Regardless of the divorce, they obviously still have some kind of relationship, so she's probably afraid/sad/overwhelmed etc about losing him. She might want a sense she's not alone in her grief by having you involved.

These are not reasons for you to go visit, just possible reasons for why she's calling you.

If you don't want to go, you can tell her that you feel you've given him plenty of chances and you simply don't see the point of going through it again because you've moved on. Or something like that. I would write something down that's simple and to the point so you're prepared to talk to her. If she starts whining or won't take no for an answer, you can just say you're sorry but your decision is final and you won't discuss it further.

Good luck. It sucks having to deal with this, but it will be behind you soon enough.

[Selkie]

Brandi -- Lots of advice here (I agree with Crankin's---she is a smart, wise lady). That said, you have to do what's right for you.

You are a wonderful person, as is evident in your posts here. You have a very generous heart and you deserve only the best. Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing. Sending you lots of good karma.