Dear So and So

[Veronica]

Dear Parents;

Conference week is the week after next. I have already sent out the initial sign up slip and two reminder notices. Why haven't you signed up yet?

I will not be hunting you down and making you come to a conference. It's a shame if I care more about your child's success than you do. I'm sure you "care." But the message you send by neglecting to sign up for conferences is that you don't.

Veronica

[lph]

Wow, Roxy. I'd be somewhere along "and what the flying f*** do you know about my eating habits anyway, you been stalking me??"

Well, no, I would never say it, but I sure would be thinking it, with smoke coming out of my nose. Kudos to you for a polysyllabic and sensible answer.

Dear station wagon driver that almost flattened me this morning in the roundabout:

I know I had to yield to the lorry in front of you in the roundabout, That's ok, his vehicle weighs about a million times more than mine, can't stop that fast, and we did hit the roundabout almost at the same time. Which parts of that makes it ok for you to do the same thing, accelerating in to try to clip my front wheel? Didja think I was just going to stand around in the roundabout all day since I had to stop anyway?

Dear cyclist who arrived right afterwards:

sorry about the armwaving and gibbering and foul language, I didn't mean you, honest.