Dear So and So

[channlluv]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Owlie, try sprinkling some salt into the onions next time. It sucks out the residual water and helps the sugars inside brown faster.

[Biciclista]

Dear Channlluv
I am sorry the mom was such a jerk. When my own tot (only 2 years old) kept telling me in his loud clear voice "Mommy look at that ugly ugly man" I was so astonished that all I could do was rush him away from the poor guy (who wasn't particularly ugly) he was too young to understand that he might hurt someone's feelings. On the other hand, I was proud that he was speaking in sentences. I don't think I smirked though, I was horrified!

[channlluv]

Dear Channlluv
I am sorry the mom was such a jerk. When my own tot (only 2 years old) kept telling me in his loud clear voice "Mommy look at that ugly ugly man" I was so astonished that all I could do was rush him away from the poor guy (who wasn't particularly ugly) he was too young to understand that he might hurt someone's feelings. On the other hand, I was proud that he was speaking in sentences. I don't think I smirked though, I was horrified!

What was really disheartening is the setting -- we were at a place where my daughter spends a lot of time, probably with this woman's older kid, although I didn't recognize either the little one or the mom.

I've had people laugh at me before - a couple of times when I've been riding around the lake. One man even laughed as I rode past him (he was walking) and shouted ahead to his wife in a language that sounded like Russian to me -- she was about twenty yards ahead of him. She looked up just as I was riding past, at me, and then she laughed, too. Another time it was two younger college-age women on beach cruisers, also at the lake.

I've had strangers ask me when my baby is due, one saying that I look like I'm about to pop. One even said, incredulously, "You're kidding!" when I told him I wasn't pregnant, and he kept staring at my stomach like I was lying to him. I wanted to dump a vase of water over his head.

Another time, in Home Depot, I was browsing in the garden section and a little boy in a cart next to me said, "Look, Mommy, that lady has a baby in her tummy." The mom glancing up with a smile to congratulate me, then realizing I did not, sort of looked embarrassed and shushed him and moved to a different aisle.

I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."

I don't know. Even my therapist has been telling me that maybe I just need to be one of those big women who just live their lives and don't give a damn.

Being fat is hard, though.

Roxy

[Biciclista]

What was really disheartening is the setting -- we were at a place where my daughter spends a lot of time, probably with this woman's older kid, although I didn't recognize either the little one or the mom.

I've had people laugh at me before - a couple of times when I've been riding around the lake. One man even laughed as I rode past him (he was walking) and shouted ahead to his wife in a language that sounded like Russian to me -- she was about twenty yards ahead of him. She looked up just as I was riding past, at me, and then she laughed, too. Another time it was two younger college-age women on beach cruisers, also at the lake.

I've had strangers ask me when my baby is due, one saying that I look like I'm about to pop. One even said, incredulously, "You're kidding!" when I told him I wasn't pregnant, and he kept staring at my stomach like I was lying to him. I wanted to dump a vase of water over his head.

Another time, in Home Depot, I was browsing in the garden section and a little boy in a cart next to me said, "Look, Mommy, that lady has a baby in her tummy." The mom glancing up with a smile to congratulate me, then realizing I did not, sort of looked embarrassed and shushed him and moved to a different aisle.

I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."

I don't know. Even my therapist has been telling me that maybe I just need to be one of those big women who just live their lives and don't give a damn.

Being fat is hard, though.

Roxy

ouch. Even i did that once to a friend. I said "omigosh, don't tell me, you're pregnant!" and she wasn't...

[redrhodie]

Roxy, as the daughter of a woman who was tortured by her size, I can understand your pain. I wish my mother had been able to not care. She really let her body hate ruin her life. She pretty much hid, when she would have liked to be doing. It prevented her from enjoying life.

We don't get to choose our body, so it's really not fair that having a "nice" one is so valued. It's not like it automatically makes you a nice person. I wish we cared more about that, but it's all superficial.

But, I think you're very pretty the way you are (not that that matters ).

[channlluv]

Well, the pregnancy comment has happened enough that I know whomever is making it is trying to be thoughtful, not hurtful, so it doesn't bother me as much, but that old guy staring at my stomach and challenging me. He actually followed that up with, "I would have guessed five or six months along." Yeah, really. Thanks.

Oof.

[Owlie]

((Roxy))

Dear self:
Harden the **** up. While I can understand not wanting to ride with back cramps, given that the last time we did so, we nearly crashed, if you're going to ride for the remainder of the year, you're going to need to learn to do so in the cold.

[VeganBikeChick]

I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."

Roxy

My Dad still says that to me all the time. Part of me wonders if I stay fat just to spite him. We don't exactly have a loving relationship.

Really doesn't do much for the self-confidence, especially when you think all the guys out there only want to date skinny girls.



BIG HUGS to you, Roxy. Your strength, determination, and compassion is unparalleled.

[Biciclista]

Dear TE ladies
This is the first time I left DH (in the hospital) where I felt bad for me instead of for him. He's doing really well. He's got his sense of humor back (for what it's worth) and he's able to get up and do laps in the hospital hallways. The only bad part is that he has to ask the nurses to do it, because he still has a few lines that have to be messed with before he can leave his bed and the immediate vicinity of it.
Why do i feel bad for me? oh, it's being alone. Funny, it didn't bother me so much when he was out of state on a bike ride!

owell progress. every day.

[solobiker]

Happy to hear he is on his feet And you are not alone...you have all of us

[solobiker]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

I am sorry that happened. People can be pretty pretty oblivious to others around them. Sorry I can't think of a better word then that..but I think you know what I mean. I tend to be very aware, almost to a fault. Hope you have a great day!! You rock

[Owlie]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

Dear bike:
Please stop giving me that look. I want to go out too, but I'm too poor to afford clothing to take you out. We'll try for later this afternoon, after I've had some tea and it's warmer than 35 degrees. Brr!
-Your owner/ice cube
Dear BF:
What are you whining about? I'd give an arm to have riding-friendly weather right now!
-Your girlfriend, who is rapidly turning into a popsicle.