Dear So and So

[Blueberry]

Dear Mother:

I'm giving you a frigging car. A car that I could have used the money from since, well, we're broke. Getting p!ssed at me because my DH can't take time off of work for us to deliver said car to you is really not productive. Neither is screaming at me because air fares are high. I really wish I had just sold the car (or kept it since the parking lot at my gym is ridiculous and I won't drive the other car there - which means I will miss going to the gym). You should not be proud of the fact that you're a high mileage driver and have never bought a car. It just makes you a mooch.

Dear Grandma:

Telling me to love my mother and be nice to her is not productive right now. Neither is telling her it's all OK or trying to convince me that she has it harder than the rest of the world. The fact that the money from the sale of my grandfather's desk (which he left to me) was used to fix said car for my mom kinda burns me. Perhaps your appropriating things for her is why she has never learned to stand on her own 2 feet. Just a thought.

Dear Father:

I appreciate that you took extra stuff to ebay and said you'd give me the money - really I do. I'm happy that you've made over 1k. I'm happy for you to get your costs back plus something for your time. But when, exactly, were you going to fess up about how much you sold? Or were you just planning on taking money from me again - like you have my whole life. I'm not inclined to clear my schedule to I can go to all of the myriad of doctor's appointments with you. Despite the fact that you're telling everyone the situation is dire - I've talked to your doctors (at your insistence) and it's not. So - stop emailing everyone in the family that you're dying, stop emailing them that I don't care and don't do anything for you, and give me my fricking money. You've cried wolf way, way too many times, and I really don't need the lodestone around my neck right now.

[maillotpois]

Big hug to you Blueberry.

[channlluv]

{{{Blueberry.}}}

[indysteel]

I'll join in those hugs. Blueberry, your family sounds a little toxic. Do what you have to do to take care of you.

[azfiddle]

Wow Blueberry! Maybe you need a vacation from your family.... sorry you have all that stuff.

[emily_in_nc]

Jeez Blueberry. What a mess! So sorry you are going through such parent/money issues simultaneously and intertwined. Not a good mix.

[OakLeaf]

Ugh. ((((((Blueberry))))))

[Blueberry]

Thank you all - the venting really does help. Most days I can keep it all in perspective, but some days are harder than others.

We're making changes in our lives that mean we will be OK financially. We're planning to sell our house in the spring (and believe we will be able to), which is a good thing - we're in a different place than we were when we bought it. We have contingency plans on top of contingency plans. But - when things are tight - having those who should be offering support (emotional if not financial) taking advantage of you just gets tough. Particularly when those people refuse to consider making hard decisions that they should be making. I'm an only child with divorced parents, and my parents are crashing and burning at the same time.