Dear So and So

[Owlie]

A friend's dog has doggie Alzheimer's. He doesn't know where home is any more, so if they let him out into the backyard, someone has to go with him to make sure he doesn't run off somewhere.

Dear professor:
It seems like you expect us to know the content of your course before we get here. What would be the point of taking your course (other than the department requiring it), if that were the case? Stop treating us all like we're stupid for not getting it the first time around. It would also really help if you would actually explain things instead of waffling around them and hoping your slides are correct. (Not all of them are, by the way.)
While we're at it, it would be nice if you would give an answer to my questions, rather than saying "I'll be covering that next quarter" and going off on a tangent...like asking about something that I haven't seen for at least two years and acting like I'm stupid for not remembering it.
Also: I don't know if your ignorance is showing, if you're trying to be funny, or if you genuinely are a jerk, but saying things to the international students that hint that their home is a third world country isn't a good idea. (And making potentially politically-charged comments about said country isn't a good idea either.)
I'm also not entirely convinced that you think I'm a native English speaker...

[Becky]

Dear jack@ss at the pool:

Yes, I realize that you don't want to share a lane. Most people don't. But it was crowded this morning, so suck it up, buttercup. Asking me to go swim somewhere else was just rude. Also, you were by no means "faster than anyone else", as if that somehow precludes you from splitting or circling. Fortunately, the elite triathlete in the lane next to you is nicer, more humble, and more accomodating. Unfortunately, you managed to ruin my swim and my morning.

In talking with some of the nicer swimmers, I learned that you already have a reputation for being a jerk, for having terrible form, and for being the last person that anyone wants to share with due to your ability to clobber people on your recovery stroke.

I just wish that I knew your name. Since I don't, I'll let karma take care of you.

Smoochies,
Angry

[Biciclista]

dear Maillotpois
you know, when dogs get older, one of the things they specialize in is manipulation. If an older dog THINKS he can get away with eating cat food, he's going to try it. Give him points for thinking outside of the box!

[OakLeaf]

Give him points for thinking outside of the box!

Based on dogs I've known, I'd give him points for thinking outside the litterbox.


Dear Mimi: ((((((hugs))))))

[jessmarimba]

Dear self:

Stop deciding to put important things "someplace safe." You'll never find them again.

[Pax]

based on dogs i've known, i'd give him points for thinking outside the litterbox.

lol!!!

[azfiddle]

Good one Mimi!

[Owlie]

Dear self:

Stop deciding to put important things "someplace safe." You'll never find them again.

This is what happens in my family. We've lost spare keys, photos and a variety of other things this way.

[maillotpois]

dear Maillotpois
you know, when dogs get older, one of the things they specialize in is manipulation. If an older dog THINKS he can get away with eating cat food, he's going to try it. Give him points for thinking outside of the box!

I like this!

Dear self:

Stop deciding to put important things "someplace safe." You'll never find them again.

I did this with our passports once.

[Biciclista]

Dear self:

Stop deciding to put important things "someplace safe." You'll never find them again.

my mother has lost more stuff this way. It scares me. I tell you, when we have to clean out her house (when she is no longer with us) it will be a treasure hunt. We'll have to be really careful to check EVERYTHING and not just toss stuff.

[PamNY]

Dear Occupy Wall Street protestors,

You are not occupying Wall Street. You are occupying a small park near my home which is our only green space. It's where working people eat the lunch they bought from street vendors, who are now losing money thanks to you.

You are not bothering the captains of industry with your all-day drumming and shouting. At night, they are driven to their suburban homes with big lawns. It's me who listens to your endless noise, and I don't control Wall Street.

Bless your idealistic young hearts, we want our little park back.

[jessmarimba]

This is what happens in my family. We've lost spare keys, photos and a variety of other things this way.

I've been missing the spare key (actually the real key) to my car for two years. I went to pull a laptop bag out of the closet for a trip to Cleveland a couple days ago and the key was in a mesh pocket in the front. Must've been where I decided to pack it when I moved. I'm leaving it in the middle of the kitchen counter for the time being so I can't lose it again!



Dear "friends" -

I don't understand why ALL of you ignore my calls/texts/attempts to communicate. Obviously I am the common denominator, so I must be the problem here, but will one of you tell me why you're ignoring me?

Signed,
Bored and lonely

[Reesha]

Dear people who stole my scooter,

You suck!

Ima gonna stick a GPS tracker in my next one so the cops can bust your $$@ if you lay your sticky fingers on it.

Have a nice day

[jessmarimba]

Oh, and dear bike clinic -

Offering to comp me a spot at the camp this weekend since I paid for a camp I couldn't make in August was very sweet. Telling me two days before the clinic that you don't have room for me (despite the fact that I can still register - if I pay again - on your website) is just crappy. Thanks a lot. I hope that $35 was worth it to you, since it was a week's grocery money for me.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Probably - but it is such aberrant behavior that is seems odd. This was the perfect dog, and this is just willfully bad behavior.

Actually, cat food is higher in protein than dog food. So it contains more meat and is probably much, much tastier. When I have a dog over, I leave the cat's food on top of a table where the dog can't get to it...