Dear self,

amazing, you lasted all of 48 hours after your parents returned home before the anxiety, dread, stress and crying started. Also, you resisted the urge to hurl the stupid constantly ringing phone out of your window.

Dear people who care,

I made the choice long ago that once I have enough money to do so, I'd move away from my parents' house and stop having a relationship with them. Now I do have enough money but only JUST ENOUGH. Yes, I could be putting 800 bucks a month towards grad school instead. Yes, I realize in the context of the culture we live in, to not have a relationship with one's parents and to choose to live away from them is considered immoral, bad and I don't know what else. No I don't care because this was a hard decision I finally made after too many bad things happening with my family and realizing I don't have the skills yet to negotiate a relationship with them. Its the right decision for now, because I need to learn how to relate to people without freaking out and my parents need to understand what these things called 'boundaries' are. You have not lived in my shoes for long enough to understand what issues are at play in the decisions I make. So while your concerns are very valid and I appreciate having someone finally be concerned with my life, please, please, please withhold judgment of what I want to do and just be supportive. Living with my parents and trying to have a relationship with them isn't right for any of us right now. Maybe in a few years time, it will be. But now, what I really need is to find a place, start transitioning to living on my own and just keep on being happy, stable and calm instead of starting the slide to becoming dark and angry all the time.

Dear potential landlord,

I'm calling you on your crap. Your room was available for rental until you heard that I'm local and suddenly, your 'relative' wants to come live with you and its not for rent any more? This isn't the first time I've had this kind of nonsense pulled on me and I knew what was about to go down the second your agent asked me "Why aren't you living with your family if you're local?" Please go sod yourselves. I hope that one day, when you're experiencing the same dire need to find a place to live in as I am now, that the same thing will happen to you.