Dear body:
Come on, it's not like I've been trying to lose weight. Now most of my jeans are huge on me, and the two I can fit into are too tight in the thighs--only slightly, but it's more than "I haven't worn these for three months"-tight. I can't really do only two pairs, even if I wear them multiple days in a row, and I'm too poor to afford new ones!

Dear TE women:
How do you all find jeans?! If I rode any more, I don't think I'd be able to fit into any!

Dear fashion industry:
When did you decide that "bootcut" jeans means "this far away from being skinny" jeans?

Dear deer:
Running in front of cars is not very nice, for you or me. Please modify your behavior accordingly.