What would you do differently?

[tytbody]

I would have taken a year off between high school and college.

Smart choice. More need to do this.

[Roadtrip]

I've had some negative stuff happen throughout my life.

• Alcoholic step-father.
• Mother who was verbally and physically abused by step-father.
• Suicidal mother, whome I found with loaded shotgun and at 11 years old I took the gun from her hands.
• Step father hit me, I again took the gun away from my mother before she used it on the passed out step-father.
• Mother wanted divorce, years after separating, took me along as protection with loaded 45 under my jacket as she met him to discuss-- was all I could do to stand there facing him again, knowing I had the power to end him rght there. He lit a joint and told my mom she still had a nice a$$, never knowing how much I hated him.
• Overcame being an introverted (ok, I'm still a little shy/introverted) youth and was the first in my family to earn a college degree, meeting my DH, and becoming who I am today. Letting go of all the hate in my heart and moving forward Instead of looking back allows me to live a good life that I enjoy very munch.

Would I change anything?!?!

[indysteel]

((((Roadtrip)))). As a child of dysfunctional and abusive parents (who had their own even more dysfunctional and abusive parents), I feel for you.

[tytbody]

and no one knows what we have had to live through. Does it ever ever stop?

[Irulan]

I
Would I change anything?!?!

Sometimes it takes knowing we went through crap to get us into recovery.


<generic "you" lest someone think I am singling anyone out>

I think the better question is, have you moved forward and healed? Or do you still identify yourself by what happened to you?

You CAN'T change what happened to you. But you can change your attitude and approach to life. You can look at what happened and decide to do things differently. You can break the cycle. You can toss out the tools your parents gave you and rebuild a better tool kit.

[indysteel]

Sometimes it takes knowing we went through crap to get us into recovery.


<generic "you" lest someone think I am singling anyone out>

I think the better question is, have you moved forward and healed? Or do you still identify yourself by what happened to you?

You CAN'T change what happened to you. But you can change your attitude and approach to life. You can look at what happened and decide to do things differently. You can break the cycle. You can toss out the tools your parents gave you and rebuild a better tool kit.

Yep. It takes work, but it's well worth it. I wish I had a different family of origin, but I'm quite happy with my family of choice. And me. I like me.

[Roadtrip]

And me. I like me.

Amen sister!!

[Crankin]

I am very happy for my family origin. Not perfect, but, really good models for being parents. My mom should have been born in my generation...
And I really wouldn't change anything about my life now. The things I mentioned earlier, well, it's all in hindsight. I made a stupid decision at age 18, but I knew it was a stupid decision when I was doing it. It was so long ago, it doesn't matter. I've reconnected with the person who I dumped, and we both ended up having great lives. Funny, he was the perfect athlete, popular, brilliant. I was not the athlete, was smart, but nothing special in the place I grew up, and while I was popular, I didn't have guys pining over me.
Guess who's the athlete now and who has had back surgery and needs a knee replacement, while getting vicarious thrills by following Boston sports teams from afar?
I don't regret my teaching career. I wish I had had the guts to do something a little different, but I became a very good educator and it gave me strength. The time was right to switch, though and do what I was told not to do when I was a sophomore in college, because "you'll never get a job."

[Zippinalong]

Unfortunately there are so many things I would change. My life path has been difficult and frustrating. If I could start over again I would.