What would you do differently?

[Crankin]

My life is really good. But, if I knew then, what I knew now, I would have never stayed with the guy that became DH #1, which would have then meant I never would have gone to 4 colleges, and I never would have broken up with the person I should have stayed with.
Oh, and I never would have wasted that time in the doctoral program I never finished, anyway.

[roadie gal]

I like the person that I am now and wonder if changing something would have made me a different person. The things I'd like to change have more to do with my family - I'd like to make my father not a sociopath - things I couldn't change, than anything to do with my own life.

Job-wise I think I would have been happier going into the Coast Guard rather than being a doctor. But I'm looking from the outside, so who knows?

[limewave]

I wish I would have gotten help for my depression when I was 14 instead of waiting until I was 25. It is not normal to be sad all of the time.

[Mama Coosa]

I would have taken a year off between high school and college.

[tytbody]

I would have taken a year off between high school and college.

Smart choice. More need to do this.

[Roadtrip]

I've had some negative stuff happen throughout my life.

• Alcoholic step-father.
• Mother who was verbally and physically abused by step-father.
• Suicidal mother, whome I found with loaded shotgun and at 11 years old I took the gun from her hands.
• Step father hit me, I again took the gun away from my mother before she used it on the passed out step-father.
• Mother wanted divorce, years after separating, took me along as protection with loaded 45 under my jacket as she met him to discuss-- was all I could do to stand there facing him again, knowing I had the power to end him rght there. He lit a joint and told my mom she still had a nice a$$, never knowing how much I hated him.
• Overcame being an introverted (ok, I'm still a little shy/introverted) youth and was the first in my family to earn a college degree, meeting my DH, and becoming who I am today. Letting go of all the hate in my heart and moving forward Instead of looking back allows me to live a good life that I enjoy very munch.

Would I change anything?!?!

[indysteel]

((((Roadtrip)))). As a child of dysfunctional and abusive parents (who had their own even more dysfunctional and abusive parents), I feel for you.

[Irulan]

I
Would I change anything?!?!

Sometimes it takes knowing we went through crap to get us into recovery.


<generic "you" lest someone think I am singling anyone out>

I think the better question is, have you moved forward and healed? Or do you still identify yourself by what happened to you?

You CAN'T change what happened to you. But you can change your attitude and approach to life. You can look at what happened and decide to do things differently. You can break the cycle. You can toss out the tools your parents gave you and rebuild a better tool kit.