How many times do you try?

[indysteel]

When friends go AWOL, I do think it's important to resist the assumption that it's because of something you did/are. Most of my longest friendships have waxed and waned over the years, and I've come to understand just how easy it is to get so wrapped up in your day to day existence that you lose track of friendships. I'm not saying it's a great excuse, by I've really downgraded the expectations I place on people and try not to take it personally when I don't make their list of priorities. I know how my average day/week is. I'm lucky to get myself to and from work, attend all the appointments/meetings/functions I have to attend, spend quality time with DH, fit in a minor amount of exercise, put meals on the table, food in the cats bowls, laundry in the washer/dryer, etc. There's not a whole lot of time to even plan other stuff, let alone do it. And I don't even have kids!

While I have no doubt that some of my friends feel neglected the same way I've felt neglected by them at times....but it's nothing personal. We all just get super wrapped up in our own lives at times. So, I think that's something you have to keep in mind anytime you start to feel neglected by someone. What's going on in their life at the moment that I may be underestimating?

[Catrin]

.....
While I have no doubt that some of my friends feel neglected the same way I've felt neglected by them at times....but it's nothing personal. We all just get super wrapped up in our own lives at times. So, I think that's something you have to keep in mind anytime you start to feel neglected by someone. What's going on in their life at the moment that I may be underestimating?

Yes, I think this is what it often is and I think it is important to keep in mind when relationships change. Life is SO busy for most of us, and I can't imagine what it must be like when children are added to the mix. I feel fortunate that I am able to spend so much time on things I love to do, and recognize that being single does assist with that a lot.

As far as the original question in this thread - I don't know that there IS a definitive answer that fits all situations. I think it varies depending on the relationship and what is going on in the lives of both parties.