It only takes one jerk to make me want to swear-off group rides.

[Biciclista]

zoom zoom i was a little confused about your story about making fun of a guy on a bike??? and everyone was laughing about it.

i have been the noob on the ride and have gotten a few acrid comments from more experienced riders (not necessarily older than me, i'm 59) but i have also received a wealth of knowledge from people, not always given in a nice way. I agree the comment about the plastic bike was dumb, but i've learned a lot of basic bike etiquette from people who were a little crabby (hey, i screwed up) and even headplant material from critical b!tchy people. "did you know the tongue of your shoe isn't supposed to be on the top?" my DH said "ignore them" but hey, I learned something there.
don't let them bug you. Take the wisdom and ignore the poor social skills!

[salsabike]

zoom zoom i was a little confused about your story about making fun of a guy on a bike??? and everyone was laughing about it.

i have been the noob on the ride and have gotten a few acrid comments from more experienced riders (not necessarily older than me, i'm 59) but i have also received a wealth of knowledge from people, not always given in a nice way. I agree the comment about the plastic bike was dumb, but i've learned a lot of basic bike etiquette from people who were a little crabby (hey, i screwed up) and even headplant material from critical b!tchy people. "did you know the tongue of your shoe isn't supposed to be on the top?" my DH said "ignore them" but hey, I learned something there.
don't let them bug you. Take the wisdom and ignore the poor social skills!

Nicely said, Bici. It's not always easy to do but phrasing it that way helps!

[beccaB]

I am a bit of a loner, and I always wish I had a t-shirt on that says "I did not give you permission to talk to me!" I pulled up alongside a woman at a recent century ride and was asking her where she got a pair of biking shorts that I liked and a guy in one of those pacelines went around me saying that I shouldn't ride in the middle of the road. Well, I just ignored him but I'm actually surprised I didn't tell him to %#!@ off! Those paceline people were buzzing everyone without announcing themselves, and they certainly were not riding single file!

[zoom-zoom]

zoom zoom i was a little confused about your story about making fun of a guy on a bike??? and everyone was laughing about it.

He wasn't on a bike...he was driving a massive (a Suburban or similar size), loud, gas guzzling SUV. I shared the story in this thread.

[TrekTheKaty]

zoom zoom,
I sympathize. Once someone gets under my skin, I have trouble letting it go. I have a co-worker who drives me SO crazy, that even on his good days, he asks me what's wrong.

I'm not good at confrontations, but if I wanted to stay in the group, I'd probably say something off-handed like, "I won't critique your ride, if you don't critique mine (insert smile)." Leave her thinking. Is everyone perfect all the time?

[OakLeaf]

I'm not saying this person isn't like that ... the world is full of them unfortunately. But is it possible you misinterpreted "plastic bike?" I know people who just refer to the carbon bikes in their stable as plastic, kind of in a cutesy way.

[zoom-zoom]

I'm not saying this person isn't like that ... the world is full of them unfortunately. But is it possible you misinterpreted "plastic bike?" I know people who just refer to the carbon bikes in their stable as plastic, kind of in a cutesy way.

Perhaps...but the way she said it definitely had the air of "oh, you're one of those noobs who goes out and gets carbon right away, before you've 'earned' it." Given our rough chipsealed roads I'll recommend carbon to anyone with the budget--regardless of experience. New riders are more likely to want to ride more on a bike that doesn't vibrate them to death.

[macski]

zoom zoom,
I'm not good at confrontations, but if I wanted to stay in the group, I'd probably say something off-handed like, "I won't critique your ride, if you don't critique mine (insert smile)." Leave her thinking. Is everyone perfect all the time?

Great advice there (although I have to confess that I struggle to be civil to people like the woman you have described).

In the spirit of giving advice that I'd struggle to take myself, ask yourself the three question - will this matter in three minutes, three hours, three days?

And walk away from her shaking your head slightly for effect.

[KatzPajamas]

Having been in numerous situations such as this (outside the cycling arena), I have found that the best way to deal with these people is to pretend they aren't even there. Those kind of comments don't even deserve an response nor even an acknowledgment! You are there to ride! I assume you are also in search of friendship, so gravitate towards those who are there to ride, not form a pecking order. If such people don't exist in your group, maybe it's time to find some who DO want to ride and form your own group!

[zoom-zoom]

I assume you are also in search of friendship, so gravitate towards those who are there to ride, not form a pecking order. If such people don't exist in your group, maybe it's time to find some who DO want to ride and form your own group!

Funny you mention that. Just this past ride there was also a new rider who I assume is about my age and very friendly. We immediately were having fun chatting with one another. I hope she keeps coming to the rides.

[goride]

Funny you mention that. Just this past ride there was also a new rider who I assume is about my age and very friendly. We immediately were having fun chatting with one another. I hope she keeps coming to the rides.

My guess is that since you made her feel welcome in the group, she will ride with the group as often as she can.

I have been very fortunate this summer to find three different riding groups that are very compatible, even thought skill levels within each group are somewhat varied. The groups have pushed me a little, and encouraged me a lot, and I have learned so much from them.

[KatzPajamas]

Funny you mention that. Just this past ride there was also a new rider who I assume is about my age and very friendly. We immediately were having fun chatting with one another. I hope she keeps coming to the rides.

If I remember correctly, zoom-zoom, you gave alot of kind words and encouragement and sound advice last spring, as I purchased my bike and struggled with the many issues that this older lady newbie ran into. This new friend you have found is very lucky to have found you to ride with! Sounds like you already have a head start on changing the tone of this group. Happy trails!

[jelee1311]

Don't let anyone ruin your ride. I ride by myself most of the year and now have joined a weekly womens ride. There are some people that suck and do and say stupid things but that's life. I mostly stay away from those people and ride by the ones I like.The one time I had a real concern I spoke to the ride leader about it(a safety issue). Have fun and remember these people can be jackwagons but how you react is your choice.

[Jen12]

We had a guy like this in our little group. He always knew more than everyone else and in his mind was always right, you were an idiot to disagree with him because of course, you lacked his intelligence to begin!

I'd finally had it a few years ago, I was riding hubby's mountain bike yet because I hadn't found a bike I liked and honestly, it's hard for us to spend money. We are savers, so as long as I was unsure of what to get, it made sense to still ride the mtb.

One day he says (really loud) "the reason you don't have a bike is because you don't have any money!" and proceeds to snicker. I was speechless for a moment, who would ever say something like that? If it had been true, I can't imagine the sting it would have caused.

People who make comments about money get under my skin. I have a friend who has a BFF who throws money around like it's confetti. The BFF's husband is the same way, although I think for him it's more of a status thing. He wants to look like he's got it all. Like you, I'm a saver, and I made a conscious decision a couple of years ago to walk away from a career I hated to go into one that is much less lucrative. I made many sacrifices to do this, but rarely comment on it because a lot of things I gave up were just extras that I don't need or miss. Anyway, a group of us were on a girl's weekend and one night at a bar, I didn't feel like drinking. If I drink past a certain point, it just keeps me awake at night and I hadn't slept the previous two nights. A week later this girl verbally attacked me about how if I couldn't afford to drink I shouldn't have come on the weekend at all, and it was awkward for her that I wasn't drinking that night.

Like you, my reasons for my choices had nothing to do with money, and she was way, WAY out of line for making such a classless and nasty comment. This was over a year ago, and I never did figure out what she was really upset about.

There are people who just don't think before they speak. I think instead of feeling sorry for them, we should feel badly for them.

[zoom-zoom]

Funny addition to my story. So DH and I were talking about this woman today and he thinks he may know who she is...and the plot thickens. If it's the same woman he's thinking she is, apparently she worked for a brief time at our LBS and it wasn't a good fit. She left saying that the owner (a friend of ours) was hard to work with/for.

Uh...that's kind of funny, since this guy is one of the most accommodating and fun people I know. He can be stubborn, but most of his employees have been with him for a LONG time and he'd go to the ends of the Earth to help a friend.

My DH vaguely recalls interacting with this woman and it not being a particularly positive experience.