Quote Originally Posted by westtexas View Post
This is me to a T, Indy. I'm trying very hard in my current relationship but it is sometimes hard to want to have someone there for you when for a long time you've relied on yourself and done just fine. Have any secrets for getting to that point?
I don't know of I have any real secret. It's more about practice. As for stuff around the house, I've gotten better at asking for help, although quite honestly, I wish he was better at taking a bit more initiative. He's always willing to help when I ask and takes care of things like mowing without prompting, but other stuff--like getting dinner together if I'm running late, not so much.

It's really the emotional stuff that's more of a challenge for me anyway. I try to remember to let my guard down more. I don't have to grin and bear as much as I used to. It helps that we have certain routines that provide a good time for some emotional intimacy. It also helps if you're with someone--and I hope you are--that you trust to be supportive and loving. Even good guys sometimes miss the mark, but when they're pretty dependable, it helps you lean on them a bit more.

Communication is key, too. I have to remember to tell him what I need or want. I struggled with that when we first moved in together. I was trying really hard to keep everything running smoothly around the house and leaving him out of my to do list. I felt like I needed to do it all myself (I'm the planner in our relationship), and that was just unrealistic. So, for a while, we had weekly strategy seesions, until some of it became more routine.

Good luck with your relationship. Just remember that just because you CAN do it on your own, doesn't mean you HAVE to.