Gauge is a function of yarn weight and needle size expressed in stitches per inch. Hmmm, that's pretty technical and all this time I thought knitting was too girlie-girl for me. Geez, was I ever wrong! Hope you ladies can forgive me.

Are you sure you aren't getting stitches confused with keeping people in stitches? Ya' know, laughter? You are really good at that. Stitches per joke, funny comeback, etc.