Thanks everybody for the replies! I guess I just needed reaffirmation of what I already knew. We are about the same size & I tried suggesting we switch bikes for a day, but she made an excuse that it wouldn't make any difference! I didn't feel like arguing with her. I didn't know about changing my wheel set out though, thanks for the advice. When you have to struggle with your ego that much on a ride, sometimes it makes me not want to deal with it, but I also realize that's part of the zen that comes from riding & ironically that's exactly why I do it. I have nothing against pushing myself to become stronger, just sometimes it can be demoralizing & I start to question "is this fun?"