Sounds like your saddle is too pear shaped or wedge shaped (when viewed from above) for the action of your hip joint.
When the transition between "sit" and nose is too gradual for the arc someone's femur swings through, the thigh at what would kind of be the panty-line (or the area where the butt meets the leg) will grind against the transition zone and chafe like heck.
There are several threads of discussions about "T" vs "Wedge" shaped saddles, people have posted pictures of saddles and lists of saddles that have more abrupt transitions (more T shaped).
There is no absolute "T" saddle, and no absolute "Wedge" saddle. One person's perfect "T" can be another person's chafing nightmare.
Find a saddle that has a more abrupt transition than the one you are on now, and it should help. Unfortunately, I don't know of any quick and simple way to find the right transition on a saddle. Just trial and error.
Edit: super-padded saddles can bulge out into the transition zone and grind on the same area



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