Why a women's forum?

[Veronica]

Hey, stop picking on me! I'm telling... moderators, oh moderators Pax and MP are picking on me!

Veronica

[Chile Pepper]

I hadn't really thought about it before, but the only other forum on which I actively participate is also a women's forum. I don't post as frequently here, but I still have a sense of connection, and I care about the other members. The high levels of civility and literacy certainly contribute to the experience!

[Kerry1976]

I can only comment to the original question as I joined this forum in October 2010.

I was directed here by a good friend who runs my favorite in the world online women's running forum. I knew when she pointed me here that it was the right place for me.

My only forum memberships are this for biking and that one for running. The running forum is a password-protected-women-only forum. However, many of us are also friends on FB and there have been meet ups. We've also done secret santa exchanges too - total fun!

In general, I have sought women's forums for information and assistance. There are just some things in running (and biking) that are best answered by women, for women. I've learned so much on both forums and my life is better for it. Beyond that, especially on the running forum (as I've been an active member for a good 3 or 4 years now), I honestly can call those women my friends, my sisters, etc.

When I started Weight Watchers in January 2011, I took a look at the forums. However, the first few threads I saw were somewhat argumentative and dismissive of people. I am sure that is not indicative of the whole of the WW threads, but I can say I've never since returned to use, let alone even look at, the WW boards.

[snapdragen]

Ooh Kerry1976 - the WW forums are a nest of vipers! I ran away as fast as I could... I only looked at the General section, and found it too much.

[snapdragen]

Hey, stop picking on me! I'm telling... moderators, oh moderators Pax and MP are picking on me!

Veronica

You again? Must you always be the tattle-tale?

[shootingstar]

Yay, snapdragon and adminstrators who clean up the litter on the forums!

[snapdragen]

Actually, Snap does almost all the heavy lifting in this regard, and we rely on forum members to notify us of the trolls/spammers. Usually, by the time I get the notification in my inbox, she has already taken care of it! Many thanks to Snapdragen and our other moderators!!

I think Adventure Girl gets to many of them before me -- she's a stealth one...

[Veronica]

I think Adventure Girl gets to many of them before me -- she's a stealth one...

And she never tells us about her adventures anymore.

Veronica

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

On any online community or forum, each one of us are liked more by some people and not especially liked by other people. That's just human nature. There are various members here that have a tone that sort of creeps me out whenever they post, but they have just as much right to be here as I do and I wouldn't dream of suggesting they should leave TE. And I'm sure there are those who wish I would just disappear. Oh well, in this world we can neither like everyone or be liked by everyone!
If Silver and Mr.Bloom both stopped alluding to their personal bitter divorce issues on here, and quit using TE to bait each other and take public swipes at each other knowing they were both reading, then there would be little problem. It reminds me of children of divorced parents who learn that it can be to their advantage to play the parents off each other. Divide and conquer.

Is it not possible for Mr.Bloom and Silver to focus their posts on other things in their lives for a while and about biking, and refrain from responding to each other and indirectly alluding to each other in ways intended to provoke? Why pull the entire forum into a personal battle, regardless of the sex of either party?
Maybe time for all of us to act like grownups. Personally, I feel it speaks poorly for all of us to take sides and dive so enthusiastically into the drama. It doesn't represent or do credit to this wonderful and positive online community we all love.

[GLC1968]

I know I'm a little late on this thread, but in my opinion, TE isn't great because we are women, TE is great because of the type of women we are individually.
I have belonged to many other all-women forums and none of them can come close to the civilty and commraderie that we have here. Hell, they often devolve into flame wars faster than BikeForums could ever hope to!

There are two other forums that I frequent that have a similiar vibe to TE. Both of them are very, very well moderated. I'm going to give credit both to the moderators and admins here, and to us as a community. We are an accepting lot. We don't tolerate stupidity/ego/flames...people who like those types of interactions just don't hang out here for long because we don't feed it. It does wonders for creating a comfortable space!

[Grog]

I love TE because of how it deals with controversy.

[Melalvai]

I mostly wanted to stay out of this discussion but I've been inexorably pulled in, partly because I'm waiting on someone and I have time to kill and things to procrastinate. (Speaking of killing time, a few weeks ago we had time to kill so we went looking for a watch that my daughter had asked for...)

lph, thanks for starting the thread. That was brave of you. It made me nervous but now the discussion has gone on for 6 pages without erupting all out into a flame war I feel safe enough to respond.

I like Team Estrogen because you can ask a question and get an answer without a ton of judgments. That has been my experience with other forums. I don't think that characteristic is because women are nicer people, I think it is because this forum is heavily moderated. I'm a big fan of active moderation and I am not a fan of unlimited freedom of speech...Is it heresy to freely say that? lol

I strongly dislike exclusive clubs. I would not like a women-only TE where men are excluded. (And since a male is one of our moderators that would be inappropriate.) How do any of us know that any of us are really women? For all most of you know, I could be a 60 year old 300 pound gorilla. (ha, thought I was going to say man, didn't you?) (I type pretty good for a gorilla!)

I like the self-proclaimed males with whom I've interacted on TE. I like most of the women here. I notice a few males who sign on just long enough to ask "What bike should I get for my girl?" or "Help my girlfriend with her girly-bit problems!" I'm really glad we can help them.

I would welcome my husband on TE, I would see it as something that we could share. I'm ok that he's not interested. I tell him the stories about what goes on here. He does find it interesting to have my perspective on a highly-moderated forum, because he runs his own forum (heavily moderated) and has experience on lightly-moderated forums.

Even in paradisiacal TE, not everyone is going to like everyone or agree with each other, and how boring would that be if we did. People will post things that offend others. People will take offense at posts. In fact I have been offended at a post here and there, and a person here & there has been offended by something I said. My experience on TE has been largely safe and supportive, and those moments of discomfort few and mild.

Some of us seem to remember events differently, that is apparent. That happens to me sometimes. My husband & daughter have this memory which I can't seem to shake: they believe that I tried to get rid of the (old & broken) couch when we moved last year. I sort of see where they came up with that idea, and I've tried to explain that I had genuinely believed that neither of them cared about the old couch, and as soon as I realized that they were attached to it I dropped the idea of replacing it. Yet no matter how many times I try to correct their version of this history, they still remember it that way, and are suspicious that I might make more attempts on their treasured memories! Well, all I can do is try to live an upright life and they'll either change that belief about me, or not, and if it's the worst inaccuracy that is believed about me to my dying day, I've probably gotten off light!

[snapdragen]

If Silver and Mr.Bloom both stopped alluding to their personal bitter divorce issues on here, and quit using TE to bait each other and take public swipes at each other knowing they were both reading, then there would be little problem. It reminds me of children of divorced parents who learn that it can be to their advantage to play the parents off each other. Divide and conquer.

Is it not possible for Mr.Bloom and Silver to focus their posts on other things in their lives for a while and about biking, and refrain from responding to each other and indirectly alluding to each other in ways intended to provoke? Why pull the entire forum into a personal battle, regardless of the sex of either party?
Maybe time for all of us to act like grownups. Personally, I feel it speaks poorly for all of us to take sides and dive so enthusiastically into the drama. It doesn't represent or do credit to this wonderful and positive online community we all love.

I don't see where either silver or Mr. B have done a lot of talking about their split. silver mentioned it in her return thread, Mr B responded by saying something along the lines of remaining civil. I would assume the best thing would be for both of them to put each other on ignore.

I am glad to see this thread has not degenerated into an ugly mess, it well could have.

[maillotpois]

For all most of you know, I could be a 60 year old 300 pound gorilla. (ha, thought I was going to say man, didn't you?) (I type pretty good for a gorilla!)

You aren't a camel????

[snapdragen]

You aren't a camel????

Hmmmmmm ///looks with slant eyes/// do we allow camels on TE?