Why a women's forum?

[Orange utopia]

I am kind of new here. I posted on here for a short period a few years back under a different user name but I couldn't remember it when I started posting again this time. I just took the time to use the search function and found it, I was mom2twins back in 2005.

Anyway, I left because life got in the way and I stopped ridding for a long time. I came back because I like the feel of community here. I like thinking that I can ask a question or voice a concern and there won't be a lot of sarcastic replies.

I have another forum I am a member of that is women only. We are all motherss of twins and most of us have been together for 8-9 years. Used to have a public board that would often get trolls and nosey husbands but then we went private a few years ago and made an agreement that we wouldn't give our dh's or other men access.

However, that was a different kind of place. We didn't get a lot of new members and by that time we were mostly a set group that had been together a long long time and it had stopped being a support group for parenting twins and more of just a hang out place for friends. Even then I was in the minority and against going private. I didn't even care if men wanted to participate as long as they were civil. But i was out voted.

[Crankin]

I could care less if men want to be on TE. As long as everyone adheres to the philosophy of the forum.
Paternalistic? I get that feeling from other posters, not just the male ones. The changing a flat thread brought that out and most of it was directed toward me! Maybe paternalistic isn't the right word, but there was a lot of "what's wrong with you?" in that thread. I decided to go out on a limb by posting my true issues and fears, and some responded with the comment that I was acting like a dependent woman, just get with it. And the one that bothered me the most was from someone I actually have met. A few of you were gracious enough to PM me and ask if I was offended by your comments, and honestly it wasn't the comments from those of you who sent a PM that made me feel badly.
I am not experienced in the ways of forums, because TE is the only one I participate in. Sometimes I read articles on various sites and look at the comments underneath. The level of vehemence and overall stupidity amazes me, so I have no desire to participate in anything else on line. A few weeks ago, I posted a link to an article about my former exchange student in Velo News. I could not believe the nasty comments people posted about him at the end of the article. So, my take is that in general, people are uncomfortable with things or people that are different from them, those who have had success, or those with more money. The level of anger against men in general, surprises me. Believe me, I've met my share of azzholes, and they come in both genders.

[snapdragen]

Sometimes I read articles on various sites and look at the comments underneath. The level of vehemence and overall stupidity amazes me, so I have no desire to participate in anything else on line. .

Crankin, I've stopped reading any comments attached to a news article online. They always seem to bring out the worst in humanity, it's so depressing.

[Blueberry]

Snap - better words of wisdom were never spoken....

[spokewench]

I like TE because it is civil. Sometimes I have to distance myself from other forums because they are so "un-civil". It is also nice to talk to other women about female issues and get the perspective that is a female perspective vs. a male perspective. I do not believe that is in any way prejudicial to men. The beauty of life is that we are all different.

Even this thread has, on the whole, been civil. Of course, there are different opinions, but most of them have been thoughtfully presented. This is what I appreciate about this forum and am glad that it exists even though I hardly ride a bike anymore after living and breathing bikes for years.

[Pax]

We didn't want to tell you.....

LOL!!!

[lph]

LOL!!!

How would we know she asked?

[Veronica]

Hey, stop picking on me! I'm telling... moderators, oh moderators Pax and MP are picking on me!

Veronica

[Chile Pepper]

I hadn't really thought about it before, but the only other forum on which I actively participate is also a women's forum. I don't post as frequently here, but I still have a sense of connection, and I care about the other members. The high levels of civility and literacy certainly contribute to the experience!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

On any online community or forum, each one of us are liked more by some people and not especially liked by other people. That's just human nature. There are various members here that have a tone that sort of creeps me out whenever they post, but they have just as much right to be here as I do and I wouldn't dream of suggesting they should leave TE. And I'm sure there are those who wish I would just disappear. Oh well, in this world we can neither like everyone or be liked by everyone!
If Silver and Mr.Bloom both stopped alluding to their personal bitter divorce issues on here, and quit using TE to bait each other and take public swipes at each other knowing they were both reading, then there would be little problem. It reminds me of children of divorced parents who learn that it can be to their advantage to play the parents off each other. Divide and conquer.

Is it not possible for Mr.Bloom and Silver to focus their posts on other things in their lives for a while and about biking, and refrain from responding to each other and indirectly alluding to each other in ways intended to provoke? Why pull the entire forum into a personal battle, regardless of the sex of either party?
Maybe time for all of us to act like grownups. Personally, I feel it speaks poorly for all of us to take sides and dive so enthusiastically into the drama. It doesn't represent or do credit to this wonderful and positive online community we all love.

[snapdragen]

If Silver and Mr.Bloom both stopped alluding to their personal bitter divorce issues on here, and quit using TE to bait each other and take public swipes at each other knowing they were both reading, then there would be little problem. It reminds me of children of divorced parents who learn that it can be to their advantage to play the parents off each other. Divide and conquer.

Is it not possible for Mr.Bloom and Silver to focus their posts on other things in their lives for a while and about biking, and refrain from responding to each other and indirectly alluding to each other in ways intended to provoke? Why pull the entire forum into a personal battle, regardless of the sex of either party?
Maybe time for all of us to act like grownups. Personally, I feel it speaks poorly for all of us to take sides and dive so enthusiastically into the drama. It doesn't represent or do credit to this wonderful and positive online community we all love.

I don't see where either silver or Mr. B have done a lot of talking about their split. silver mentioned it in her return thread, Mr B responded by saying something along the lines of remaining civil. I would assume the best thing would be for both of them to put each other on ignore.

I am glad to see this thread has not degenerated into an ugly mess, it well could have.