My husband also has issues with how much information is shared publicly and he is uncomfortable with the level of info that I am willing to share. His definition of public is broader than mine, as well. So we've been through these same discussions, debates, arguments, and even fights. Over the past 18 years we've compromised: I am more thoughtful and careful about what I post, and he has become less paranoid. But we have a LONG way to go yet before we are both comfortable.

One of the things I have learned is to develop an attitude of curiosity. For example, let's say he's being completely unreasonable. Well, I know that we are both smart people. Yet somehow we have come to completely different conclusions. Therefore I must be lacking some information. I may not be able to get that info very easily: he may not be able to share that missing bit of info with me. He might not know it himself, not consciously. Or he might not be able to explain it. It can take a lot of patience.

There is a fundamental difference in our personalities in some respects. I am naturally trusting (perhaps too trusting) and he is naturally paranoid (perhaps too paranoid). I have a higher standard of cleanliness and a lower tolerance for messiness. I have become MORE of a neat freak (I was a bit of a slob before I met him), but I have become more cautious--so we do change, sometimes to exacerbate differences and sometimes to become more alike.

Good luck during your learning experience!