was this an ethical oops?

[ny biker]

I had no idea that lard is an ingredient in pie crusts.

BTW, nuts are not the only potentially life-threatening allergen in food. For some in my family, bananas and avocados are potentially life-threatening. And then there's shellfish, which is potentially life-threatening to many people.

[Irulan]

I had no idea that lard is an ingredient in pie crusts.

BTW, nuts are not the only potentially life-threatening allergen in food. For some in my family, bananas and avocados are potentially life-threatening. And then there's shellfish, which is potentially life-threatening to many people.

It isn't in all. You can make an oil based pie crust, it's just not as flaky.

[Irulan]

I had no idea that lard is an ingredient in pie crusts.

BTW, nuts are not the only potentially life-threatening allergen in food. For some in my family, bananas and avocados are potentially life-threatening. And then there's shellfish, which is potentially life-threatening to many people.

OK sure but let's assume that adults know how to take responsibility for what they put into their bodies... ask first then eat?

[ny biker]

OK sure but let's assume that adults know how to take responsibility for what they put into their bodies... ask first then eat?

Actually the easiest thing is to eat a full meal at home on the assumption that something on the buffet table will kill you. Otherwise you become the whiny killjoy who has to ask everyone about the ingredients in the dish they brought.

[PamNY]

Otherwise you become the whiny killjoy who has to ask everyone about the ingredients in the dish they brought.

It is entirely possible to make discreet inquiries without being either whiny or a killjoy. I do it all the time.

[grey]

It is entirely possible to make discreet inquiries without being either whiny or a killjoy. I do it all the time.

Usually I have other friends who are also vegetarian, and so we help each other find out which dishes are meatless - one of us will ask about one dish, then discreetly tell the rest of us -- or we just go through the line as a group.

[ny biker]

Honestly, I know too many people who know I have food allergies, but don't hesitate to refer to people with food allergies as "freaks" in conversation with me. They're also irritated by things like having to bring fruit instead of cake to their kid's soccer games because one of the teammates can't have anything with gluten. As if the kid was making it up just to deprive his friends of some cake.

So if I start asking at a buffet about ingredients, I expect to run into people who are annoyed by it. Even if they're polite to my face, they're thinking I'm a PITA.

I do think someone with dietary restrictions needs to take responsibility as much as possible. It's just easier to assume there will be nothing you can have on the buffet table, and provide your own food.

[zoom-zoom]

They're also irritated by things like having to bring fruit instead of cake to their kid's soccer games because one of the teammates can't have anything with gluten. As if the kid was making it up just to deprive his friends of some cake.

Don't even get me started on this...when I was a kid I played in a Summer soccer league for years. We had lemonade or Gatorade during the game and maybe a treat if it was a player's birthday, but this was it.

Nowadays EVERY friggin' game or practice seems to require sugary drinks, snacks, crackers, cheese sticks...and we wonder why the # of obese kids in the US is so high--this does not help.

A few years back my son played soccer in a Spring league. People looked at us like we had 3 heads when we brought Goldfish crackers, baby carrots, and water. The dumb thing was that it was the parents who seemed put-off by it, not the kids. At Halloween we give out healthier snacks, too...and kids seem to really like getting something that isn't pure sugar.

[TsPoet]

They're also irritated by things like having to bring fruit instead of cake to their kid's soccer games because one of the teammates can't have anything with gluten. As if the kid was making it up just to deprive his friends of some cake.
.

I would be, too. I'm 44 years old. I've been diabetic since I was 12. It's my responsibility, not yours! If you want to bring carrots for me, thanks, if not, bring cake or whatever you want!
If I were allergic to peanuts - my responsibility, not yours... I'm tired of people "having to" do anything for anyone else. The only thing you are required to do, IMHO, is not do anything to actively hurt me (I'd be a little hacked off if you shot me with a gun, for example).
This responsibility for other people's diets is new and should never have started.
Having said that, I have, on more than one occasion, complained about perfume at the work place, i can't get rid of the stinking stuff! if you can't avoid it, then you have a right to expect folks to not bring it - if you can avoid it, then do so of your own accord.

[Geonz]

It is entirely possible to make discreet inquiries without being either whiny or a killjoy. I do it all the time.

(It's also possible to be a whiny killjoy. I have absolutely no issues with asking what's in something -- but when it includes the litany of symptoms and aggravations followed by all the things you really wish you could have and are miserable without and the other aches and pains that are bothering you today, I have to tune out...)

[PamNY]

(It's also possible to be a whiny killjoy. I have absolutely no issues with asking what's in something -- but when it includes the litany of symptoms and aggravations followed by all the things you really wish you could have and are miserable without and the other aches and pains that are bothering you today, I have to tune out...)

Oh that's true. Both things can happen. My point was simply, as I said, that it's possible to be discreet and polite. I have two friends with food allergies. One handles her situation so gracefully that I've heard people compliment her; the other, well, a different story altogether.

And ironically, the one who is a PITA is completely inconsiderate of other peoples' special needs, and this includes people who have knocked themselves out catering to her endless needs.

I was honestly surprised by what NY Biker said she has encountered. We deal with this issue a lot and have for years, and I've never heard anything along those lines.

[TrekTheKaty]

I was honestly surprised by what NY Biker said she has encountered. We deal with this issue a lot and have for years, and I've never heard anything along those lines.

I agree with NY Biker. Many assume my avoidance of wheat is by choice and try to talk me out of it. I choose NOT to discuss the digestive side effects with perfect strangers. And I'll clarify my earlier comment--I usually don't bother to ask, even in a restaurant. I get two responses: "I'm sure it's fine" or they pretty much refuse to serve me anything. Many strict celiacs don't EVER eat outside their own home. They've obviously had a serious reaction and don't want to risk it ever again.

Kids are different. It is a huge emotional issue for a child to be excluded from the group. However, some well adjusted families use the opportunity to teach the children how to handle these situations on their own--because they'll have to when they get older. There are many gluten-free baked goods that my husband enjoys with me. However, some fruit never hurt anyone!