Being social

[Deborajen]

Roadie gal, you've gotta love "studies." Yeah, the rooster crows every morning, then the sun comes up - doesn't that show that the rooster crowing might cause the sun to come up? Studies can be interesting, but they always need to be taken with a grain of salt. A lot of people who commit suicide are withdrawn or have become withdrawn, and a lot of people with larger social circles have connections in healthcare who might help point out causes for concern or help point the person in the direction of the right medical care resulting in the person living longer, etc. On the other hand, less social people can be perfectly healthy whereas a social butterfly can die of cancer at a young age.

I've never appreciated personality "labels," mainly because I grew up being teased - usually in front of a group, not one-to-one - that I was "so quiet." It seldom happens anymore but I still get irritated when I see people do that to others. It's not socially acceptable to say "you're so fat" or "you're so dumb" in front of a group, but teasing a shy person who isn't good at defending him/herself - because he/she is shy & awkward - seems to be perfectly o.k. Well, that's one of my big pet peeves.

I have friends but especially I have a few really close friends that I've known "forever." I guess I could get lazy again and gain lots of weight and work on making lots of "friends," but somehow I just don't think that's the way to live longer.

[Jolt]

I test either as ISTP or ISTJ (apparently the last one isn't a terribly strong preference). The I is certainly a strong preference!

Sorry, Asammy.

Interesting how so many of us test two different ways...I just took the test in the link earlier in the thread and came out INTJ, where in college I took one where I tested as ISTJ. In any case I can relate to not wanting to interact with people constantly...it wears me out after a certain point and then I just need to get away from everyone, preferably out in nature somewhere.

[Brandi]

I was recently introduced to the Jungian concept of introversion/extroversion. The idea is that most people gain energy from being with others, but there are some people who need solitude to recharge. I'm one. Sounds like maybe you are, too. (This is independent of the common concepts of introversion or extroversion - someone can function well in social situations and even be a show-off, but still be drained by it emotionally.)

That is me!! I love being around "my people" but I like to be by myself to reconnect with me. But when I am by myself I often think "Oh I need to share that with so and so". I worry about my husband though he can stay away from people and be fine. But he needs to be pushed to go out and when he does (grumbling all the way) he relaxes and enjoys it. But if I am not her he will become a hermit!.

[ASammy1]

I test either as ISTP or ISTJ (apparently the last one isn't a terribly strong preference). The I is certainly a strong preference!

Sorry, Asammy.

No worries!

[Geonz]

I remember reading that hey, these things can shift based on our situations.

F'rinstance that "J" category that's called "Judgement." If I remember right, it doesn't mean you Cast Judgemetn Upon YOur Fellow People. It means you like conclusions. You want things to get done. YOu're not all wrapped up in the essence of the moment like the P People, who are Perceiving.
Welp, I could certainly see a job change causing a shift in that perspective!

I remember finding the test a little frustrating because there were so many answers where I would think "well, it depends!" (Um, yes, I'm a P. I'm that rare combination INTP. When the head of the school asked at teh faculty meeting for us to raise our hands, after noting that according to the literature, we were likely to be stepping back and observing groups, there was a falling-out-laughing as ... the three of us in the back of the room put our paws in the air.) I can switch to F, tho' it's really for "thinking" reasons -- sometimes, factually speaking, addressing feelings is what will make things work better.

[jessmarimba]

Last one of these I took, I was INFJ. I remember reading the results and thinking it was like finding a true horoscope. Interesting.

[emily_in_nc]

F'rinstance that "J" category that's called "Judgement." If I remember right, it doesn't mean you Cast Judgemetn Upon YOur Fellow People. It means you like conclusions. You want things to get done. YOu're not all wrapped up in the essence of the moment like the P People, who are Perceiving.

Yes, I always think of Judging vs Perceiving this way:

J - feels more comfortable once a decision is made, likes having plans, not as comfortable when plans change unexpectedly, can be a bit rigid

P - enjoys the possibilities before a decision is made, spontaneous, less rigid, flexible about changes in plans

So, think about how you are about vacations, for instance. Do you prefer to plan out where you'll go, what you'll do, and when; or just let things hang loose and see what develops or what mood you're in once you get there?

According to Jung, neither of these are bad or good; they are just preferences. Both have their good and bad aspects.

On the positive side, J's tend to be organized, follow through on things, get things done. They're the good students of the world. P's are the artsy, creative folks who sometimes lack focus but can be a lot of fun to be with as they go with the flow.

I am a J through and through who would love to be a lot more of a P!

[indysteel]

J is my strongest preference, and it is me to a fault. I am a planner, and I work as a staff attorney for a judge, so I get paid to basically come to a conclusion about things. I do like the process of making a decision, as I love to research, but I do not like just playing things by ear. I get really upset when plans change at the last minute.

[Becky]

I'm definitely a J, and I work for a guy who must be a P. It's frustrating....

Overall, I'm usually a INTJ, although it's been some time since I've taken the test. I think that my E is a little higher now.

ETA: Today, I'm an ISTJ, with the S being nearly equal to my N. Go figure...

[Chile Pepper]

Another INFJ here, but the F is my weakest preference, so it could easily be INTJ. The I and the J are the two most solid markers for me.

[sfa]

I'm an INTJ married to an INTP and it has caused us to nearly come to blows practically from the minute we were married. He wanted the honeymoon to be a complete surprise so he reserved the first night in a nice local hotel, wouldn't tell me what the hotel was, but forgot to get directions to it. Fortunately a kind blabbermouth at the reception had let it slip so I was able to give directions. Then the rest of the honeymoon the only planning he had done was to book the hotel. He wouldn't tell me the destination until we were at the airport, but he hadn't planned ANYTHING for the week we were away--no guidebooks about what to see and do, no maps for getting around, no reviews for restaurants. Nothing. I was in a state of high anxiety the whole time.

[indysteel]

I'm an INTJ married to an INTP and it has caused us to nearly come to blows practically from the minute we were married. He wanted the honeymoon to be a complete surprise so he reserved the first night in a nice local hotel, wouldn't tell me what the hotel was, but forgot to get directions to it. Fortunately a kind blabbermouth at the reception had let it slip so I was able to give directions. Then the rest of the honeymoon the only planning he had done was to book the hotel. He wouldn't tell me the destination until we were at the airport, but he hadn't planned ANYTHING for the week we were away--no guidebooks about what to see and do, no maps for getting around, no reviews for restaurants. Nothing. I was in a state of high anxiety the whole time.

I hear ya. I suspect my DH is not a J, and our different approaches really come out when we travel. On one hand, his apparent refusal to plan puts me in the drivers's seat by default, which has its advantages. I make most of the big (and small) decisions so I get my way about a lot of things. I also like to plan our trips; it's part of the fun for me. He, however, sees at as exceedingly tedious.

But (and this is a big but) while I like the advance planning aspect of travel, I do get tired of handling the logistics of everything one we're there. He can sometime see rather oblivious to the fact that there are details to work out; you can't just fly by the seat of your pants all the time. I'm learning to anticipate as much as I can, but it also helps if we choose vacations that simply require less in the way of logistics. I try to keep it simple.

Plus, it does help to appreciate that these traits are largely innate. We're wired this way. I'm sure he gets sick of my incessant need to have a plan, too. And he is largely accommodating to what I want to do, so at least we don't argue about that aspect of things that much.

[Becky]

I'm so grateful that my DH is not only a J, but an INTJ at that. (Yep, I asked him to take the test this morning )

The longer that we're together, the more that I realize just how alike we are, and that's a good thing.

[Catrin]

I am an INFJ, I think the most useful thing about the MB test is it really brings home that different people really DO think/feel differently.

[emily_in_nc]

Me = INFJ
DH = ISTJ

I'm glad we're both I and J, but the other two cause us friction at times -- we just see the world very differently at times. Still, we will have been married for 26 years this month, so it's obviously working more often than not!