Dear Person who made an offer on my house,
What part of $24K less than my asking price did you think was a fair offer? Your offer is less than what I paid for the house 9 years ago. We're talking a small house, not some mansion where $24K is a paltry sum. Your offer is so low it's an insult. The house has been on the market for only a few days and you thought I'd take it? Add $15K to your offer, and then maybe we'll have something to discuss.

Have you been watching the house hunting programs where people want shiny new everything? Then go buy new construction, the house is 45 years old. It does have a shiny new a/c and heater, as well as a nice new water line. The kitchen cabinets will actually hold something unlike the crappy new cupboards in the house I'm currently renting.

(I think I need another long walk to get over my anger over your crappy offer.)